February 28, 2014

I think there is a great misconception about Christianity… especially when someone initially accepts
Christ as their personal Savior.

Upon conversion many people believe, “Great, I’ve accepted Jesus.  Now I won’t have any problems or challenges in my life.”  WRONG!

Jesus never promised us a problem free existence.  What He did promise is that He would give us the Holy Spirit to help us make better choices.  Making better choices may lead to fewer pot holes in the road of life.  Not pot hole free but fewer pot holes.

It has been my personal experience that life happens in seasons.  I’ll have a season where it seems as though I can do no wrong.  Everything is almost golden.  Not perfect mind  you but nothing major going wrong and when things do seem challenging I am generally lead to a smoother path.  That season, my dear friends, is a dangerous one.  It is during those times that I have a tendency to become complacent about my spiritual growth.  Complacency can lead to stagnation.  For me, stagnation is a dangerous place to be. 

Then there are seasons that seem to be wrought with shear havoc!  Pandemonium even.  It’s as if God is saying, “Okay, now do I have  your attention?” 

I have spent enough times in those seasons that I am now able to recognize them as they are forming on my horizon.  That recognition is a good thing.  A very good thing.

It normally begins with me being presented with a choice or two.  One choice will lead to a season of selfish indulgence.  You see, the enemy knows precisely where my weaknesses lye.  And he knows that I am wise enough (now) to recognize a red flag when it appears.  So what he will do is try to lull me into a false sense of security, even try to convince me that because of “x – y – z” that a short season of self indulgence won’t be that big of a deal.  WRONG AGAIN!!

I have learned that even the smallest of selfish indulgences can and will likely, lead to a place I had never planned to go.  Similar to climbing a ladder, once I step on that first rung the second rung is easier, then the third, then before I know it I’m standing on the  top of the ladder marked “Not a step”

Have I always made the proper decision.  Heck no.  And I suppose there will be many short comings along the road of life.  However, I am willing to be a bit introspective and be able to make the proper adjustments when and where needed.

I’ll just keep running the race. 



February 19, 2014

I tried not to. Honest, I did. It’s been seven years. When will it be enough? Some day. How long is enough? Just a bit more.

I can still see it all (vividly) unfolding in front of me. I feel that helpless feeling. I can hear that moaning… that deep guttural moaning. The screaming and tears are still so real to me.

Is this me being unable to move on? I don’t know. And I don’t care… or do I?

I remember it all. Meeting the hearse at the airport and following it home. Going inside the funeral home for a bit. Buddy’s escort there with his body in that flag draped casket.

Returning the next day for our personal goodbye. I had my arm around her. She was standing a little bent forward, hands clasped at her chest. Me with my lef arm around her shoulder, my right hand on her right arm. She was weeping. “I can’t daddy.” It’s okay honey, take your time. Shuffling forward ever so slowly. Shuffling.

The flag is folded down. The casket open. We are finally close enough to see him. “He looks so peaceful,” she says. He is peaceful honey.

We are at his side now. Her head is cocked to the left and tilted forward. She puts her hands on his white-gloved hands. “I love him so much.” I know you do honey.

The final Home Coming of Sgt Buddy James DOC Hughie was very difficult. It left more questions than answers.

Here now, seven years later, we still grieve his untimely death. But we celebrate the life he once lived. We celebrate life with those left behind because that is what Buddy would want and expect. He died so that others could live. So live we must. Enjoy life we will. And remember that our American Hero will always be with us in some way or another.

Remembering the husband, the father, the son, the friend.

Saluting the Soldier:

KIA, FEBRUARY 19, 2007

Always smiling

Always smiling

Buddy and Cooper

Buddy and Cooper

Like father, like son

Like father, like son

My Angel Story

February 17, 2014

Mssc54's Weblog

June 1999


My father was an abusive alcoholic, who was out of town 4-5 nights a week.  He used to just beat the tar out of me, so much so that my mom would have to “pull him off” of me. I was second in the birth order with 4 sisters and my brother came along when I was 13.


He (my dad) used to take me to his girl friend’s (secretary’s) house and I would have to wait out in the car.  I can still see her standing on the steps with that blond hair up in a bun and that yellow dress on, holding the screen door open for my dad.


When I turned 13 we had “the talk”.  My dad told me that if I ever had the chance to “get” a girl, I should do it, that I may be able to get…

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February 14, 2014

There are literally 1000 things running through my mind since yesterday when I heard some very disturbing news. There were several people APAULED that I signed a card to my ‘stepson’ (a word I NEVER use) “Love, Mom”.

Let me start by explaining that I know a little about this subject. I had foster parents, I had and aunt and uncle whom I lived with for a period of time, I lived with my sister as well. All before the age of 18. I was a child and they were all my adult caregivers. They fixed my ‘owies’. They made my dinner and my favorite cheese bread. They LOVED me! They CARED for me. When they didn’t HAVE TO!

Second, there is no limit on love. There is no way to measure love. If another person is added to your heart that you love, there is no love ‘taken’ from someone else to equal everything out. The amount of love a person has is infinite and loving one doesn’t mean you love another any less!

I am divorced. My husband chose another woman whom he believed he loved over the family he already had. We had three children together. One day he may marry this other woman whom he cheated with. Do I like that a cheater and a liar may end up playing a role model for our girls? Not at all! If he marries her and our children call her ‘Mom’ will I flip out? Not at all! They know I am their mother. They know I gave birth to them. They know they were in my belly. I have read them stories, put on the band aids and raised them with beliefs I hold dear: A love for God, honesty, integrity, and many more. I am their mother.  If they love another woman or call her mother, our love for each other will not change! The love my children have for me will never be diminished simply because they begin to love another mother figure (see paragraph 2).

If hearing your child call another person mother threatens you, seek counseling! That’s about you! Not them. If you continue to put your ‘baggage’ on them they will need to seek counseling at some point in time. YOU are setting them up to deal with the same insecurities you are struggling with yourself. Your child loves everyone. Racism, insecurities, hate, and many others are not instilled in kids. Adults expose children that ‘baggage’ along the way. It is not about the person that is loving and caring for your child. This person who makes their favorite meals, reads them books at night, tucks them in, and sends them boxes of love is not to blame. You probably should be thankful that your ‘ex’ has found someone that loves your child. There are far too many children who are not as fortunate.

As I have journeyed through the process of becoming divorced I have discovered that some States actually foster animosity between children and any perspective ‘other parent.’  These states allow, too be included in the divorce decree or parenting plan, that the children are not to call another person ‘mom’ or ‘dad.’  Seriously?!  Let’s remember, the children have absolutely zero control over what is taking place in their little lives!  Now one (or both) ex-spouses want to cause further emotional distress by telling these already traumatized children which words they can and cannot use as they try to develop some sort of normalcy with the new adult care giver in their lives?  Shame on all of them!   

The day my newest son called me ‘momma’ was I supposed to respond with “I am not your mother!”? He was telling me he valued our relationship and that I was important to him. So some attorney thinks that instead of responding with love I should have told my newest son that I am not who he feels that I am? THAT will likely cause him to attend counseling sessions on ‘rejection’ by someone you love.

So here I sit. Hearing that I should be sorry and NEVER again refer to myself as ‘mom’, although he refers to me as such. I should apologize (to the adult) as I might have hurt her feelings? I will not apologize, although I will give her a good number for a counselor I know. She is no victim. No one has done anything to her.

Maybe she should have thought about someone else in her child’s life before she ran out on her family for another man, made seriously poor choices, and lost custody of her son. There are consequences for all our actions. Another lesson I plan to teach her son and mine.


(The Other Mother)

Guest Author




February 19, 2013

Jake Tapper

On Saturday, February 16, 2013 I had the pleasure of taking our grandson (Buddy’s) son to listen to CNN Anchor, White House Correspondent and author Jake Tapper speak at the Savannah Book Festival.  Mr. Tapper was speaking about his experiences leading up to and including, the writing The Outpost – An Untold Story of American Valor. (!/OutpostBook)

Although Buddy was not stationed at Combat Outpost Keating at the time of it’s attack that faithful day of October 3, 2009 he had been through there and had known some of the soldiers.

Jake chronicles some of Buddy’s heroics in this book.  In fact chapter 14 is titled Buddy.

Unfortunately, like our’s, there are thousands of families who have had their lives eternally altered by their loved one being Killed in Action on a foreign battled field.  Our American Hero, Sgt Buddy James “Doc” Hughie is but one of the many.

During the question and answer session at Saturday’s Savannah Book Festival  a woman asked about the War On Terror as it relates to victory.  Further explaining that in WW II some victories were clear.  But with the war in Afghanistan there seems to be no victories.

That got me to thinking about Buddy’s role in the War on Terror, and in particular his personal contributions, as it relates to victories. 

First, there are the two Afghan Army National Soldiers Buddy was credited for saving their lives.  I’d say that is a pretty big victory for those men and their families and friends.  Secondly, Buddy was a medic.  He volunteered for every mission when/where they would go into villages to inoculate children against diseases. Hundreds upon hundreds of children.  Today there are Afghan teenagers alive and well, enjoying their lives because Buddy gave them the gift of life, the prevention of diseases.

The American public, as detached as they are from the horrors of war and how it still effects many of us, may not see victories in a traditional sense of the word.  But rest assured, victories do exist in many Afghan families, villages and regions because of American soldiers like SGT BUDDY JAMES “DOC” HUGHIE.



November 29, 2012

Can anyone… anyone at all, tell me what is wrong with reforming the existing entitlement programs in the US?

Please don’t misunderstand.  I think that there are seasons when individuals or families may need some assistance to get through a rough patch.  But honestly, too much of these entitlements are viewed (by some) as just another way of life (long term or forever).

I think long term assistance robs a person of who they were created to be.  Yes, I do believe that there are a growing number of people willing to settle for what they can get the easiest way they can get it.

The physically disabled.  The mentally ill.  Those are the only two (I hate to use the term but) classes of citizens who deserve to receive long-term government assistance.  Period.

So, once again, please explain why the US Government (Democrats specifically) are so unwilling to reform the entitlement programs.

And be cordial.

Some of my life’s experiences have been pretty miraculous.

April 6, 2012

Much has been debated over the centuries as to the existance of God.  Many who do not believe in God challenge, “Where’s your proof?”  Generally speaking that question is usually followed-up with name calling (both to the one who believes and the One, Whom we believe in).

I don’t have the answers for them.  I do know that I have (personally) had some very unique experiences that anchor my beliefe in the Most High God.  At one time in my life when I caused myself to “hit bottom” I reached out… again to the Comforter.  I did so because I “heard” Him say, “Come to me now or I will not pursue you any longer.”  You see up unto that point in my life I had used God as my Almighty Bail Bondsman.  No not to get out of jail but like, “Oh Lord, if You will just get me out of this mess…” kind of thing.  I know that the Bible says that God will never leave us nor forsake us and at this particular time I felt like God was saying to me, “I won’t pursue you.  It’s all going to be up to you to get yourself through life.  Do you really think you can do it all on your own?”  When I say I “heard” I don’t mean an audible voice but rather a split second conversation of sorts.

So anyway, I was in this dire situation when He came to me in a most dramatic way.  I have no scientific proof and I don’t need scientific proof.   In that moment even the air felt different.  What I do know is that when He and I finished our conversation I was transformed from an angry, frightened and unsure about my future man to a man of immeasurable peace and completely comfortable about what the future held for me.  I can not begin to explain the overwhelming sense of… I don’t know, peace and contentment just doesn’t seem adequate to describe it.  I was changed.  My situation and circumstances had not changed but I had.

That was the moment for me.  The defining moment that anchored my faith.   Of course I have had many challenges since then.  Difficult and painful challenges.  And I have not always answered those challenges the way I should have.  But, I have been able to recognise where I’ve made poor choices and turn from them back to Him.  Before The Encounter I may or may not have recognized my failure and if I had would likely have felt a sense of “Ha, got away with that one.”

Another spiritual marker in my life was when my father died.  That was such a dark, depressing time and also a  time of great questioning. I wrote about my deliverance from that here:

I have personally witnessed a man’s leg grow two inches.  I have personally seen a little girl with a three inch platform shoe on one foot throw that shoe away when her leg miraculously measured to the length of the other.  I have (time and time again) received financial blessings that could not be explained or planned for.  I have sustained traumatic injuries and healed from them far beyond all the doctors expectations.  My life has been transformed and by my life’s transformation my family has not only been made whole but flourished.

I know there will be those who can take each of these instances in my life and explain them away with some sort of scientific explanation or possibly psychological disorder.  How sad for them.

All I know is that God is real in my life.