Due to an injury I sustained several weeks ago I have had the fortune to be able to spend some time alone.  It’s a rare thing.  Having been able to just sit and think about my life has been revelational.  More so than just a fleeting thought would provide.

I have figured out what surely everyone else around me has known for years, that I am one heck of a critical person!  And the joke has been (on me) that I don’t even need to try to be critical.  It comes easy.  How sad is  that?

You see for more than two decades (literally) I have been one of the people on the Neighborhood Committee who sends you the letter about your lawn maintenance, your broken down car, your green slimed house and god forbid you don’t put your trash receptical away in a timely manner!

After all, we all knew when we moved into The Neighborhood that there were restrictive covenants.  Right?  So that’s the justification (for me).  You knew the rules coming in to the game, so don’t cry about you can’t do this or that.  Just fix it!  Your inability to adhere to the restrictive covenants is not only affecting your property values but it is affecting mine, your neighbors and the entire neighborhood as a whole!  Right?

Believe it or not I used to be such a positive person.  I even used to listen to positive motivational tapes “back in the day.”  Back then, if you didn’t actually like being around me you at least didn’t mind having me around.  But who in the world wants to hang around a guy who is critical about anything and everything.  If you have a wart it’s my responsibility to point it out.  After all, you’ve had the wart for a while now and no one else has pointed out.  Surely you want to get that wart treated.  Don’t you?  So now I find myself being the Wart Police and I don’t like it!  The thing is though, that I have allowed this criticalness to become sp deeply seated.  And I hate it!!

So I have determined that I need have to change the way I view life.  I have to change the way I interact with people.  I have to change the way I speak with people.  I have to change ME!

It finally dawned on me that this was one of the plans of the enemy for me (to become so critical).  You see that is how he does it.  He lies to you.  “What you are doing is a good thing.  People need to have their property investment protected.  You can make a worthwhile contribution.”  The enemy knows that if he throws something up in front of me that I can readily recognize as being ungodly or sinful that I will shy away from that.  But give me something that seems worthy and productive that I can slowly pervert and I can and will likely fall for that.

So change is coming.  I know it won’t be easy.  In fact it may be pretty darned difficult.  In fact in the days since I made known to the Neighborhood Board that I will no longer be involved with The Committee I have received no less than two phone calls and one email regarding some ongoing issues.  Sorry but I can no longer help with that.

I don’t recon that this change will be easy or happen over night, but change I must.  I must become the man my Creator imagined me to be when He intentionally created me.  I’ve lost too many years and damaged too many relationships.  I must love my neighbor.  I must speak life to my acquaintances (maybe a couple will become my friend in the process).

Change is in the air and I am taking deep breaths of it!


4 Responses to A CRITICAL SPIRIT?

  1. Servant says:

    Thumbs up! It’s not just you…it’s US ALL too!

  2. The critical-ness comes from ‘being right and knowing what everyone else should be doing’. It does come from a good place initially; wanting things, the world, people to be better. Knowing things CAN be better if only someone got it together.

    I am interested in seeing where this takes you. I also wonder if this will positively change your relationships with your loved ones. I suspect criticism, even if not directed at those loved ones, is caustic.

    Good luck.

  3. Karen Joy says:

    Ive had to change myself to in that area.3 years ago I married a man who had come out of an abusive marriage of 23 years.She was very critical of him and his self worth was very low.I hadnt realized how much I criticized until I married him.He was super sensitive so it was difficult in the beginning.With BOTH of us working on our issues we have a great relationship.With God’s help we have changed,he is less sensitive and I less critical.Ive actually not found it to hard to “shut my mouth”when tempted to say what I shouldnt,or point out an error when it really doesnt matter.Though I know its all God’s doing.
    So I wonder how you are doing with this as you wrote this some time ago.Has it been challenging for you?

  4. starlaschat says:

    Wow that was a great post. I think half the battle to changing somthing is to truely see what it is that you would like change . I think profound change doesn’t really come unless there is profound insight. Sounds like you are really ready to make that change, thats inspiring.

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