Today I celebrate my 55th birthday. Now that I have some age and experience under my proverbial belt I have become somewhat (more) reflective. And with the intentional and directed reflection on my life, has come some rather painful revelations. Guess what, I’m not perfect! But then again I’m not broken either.
Okay, so now I’ve pin-pointed a few areas that I feel I need to work on. Now what. I’ve decided to “speak” with a professional who can help direct me with some behavior modification issues. As a matter of fact, this morning from 8-9 was my fifth appointment. Is it easy? NO! Has it been painful? Yes,at times it has. However, most things worth pursuing are difficult and somewhat painful? Aren’t they? Heck even if you want to lose weight, that too involves sacrifice and pain. How many of us have tried dieting instead of changing our life style?
So, I have determined to persue a path of life style change. Most of the time I just say or do whatever is “right” (in my own eyes of course). There is no “governor” between the area of my brain and my tongue, so it can get pretty ugly. Pretty much whatever I think rolls right off my tongue and out of my mouth. As you may imagine, over the years my words and actions have caused a great deal of pain to a great many people. Many Most people who are not required to be around me, because they are related to me, determined long ago that I’m just not worth the effort. Who can blame them?! I mean I certainly don’t go places where I know there is a high degree of likelihood that I will be made fun of or otherwise ridiculed. Survival is key.
I have already figured out that I need to “lengthen my fuse.” If I can just keep my mouth shut, even for a few seconds, before I react then I can respond. A response is much healthier than a reaction.
You know, in spite of all my frailties, faults and inconsistencies, I have for quite some time been able to receive constructive criticism from (some) people and work with it. Now is the time for me to become more intense and deliberate with these things. I not only want to become a better husband, father and friend but I need to become the man who God imagined me to be when He thought about creating ME! It’s not like God needed just another caucasian male on the face of the earth. There have been billions of men like me over the millennia.
Now is the time for me to rise up and become! What about you?