I’ve been feeling a bit tense lately.

I can’t quite put my finger on it but I’ve been feeling a bit tense lately…. like things are coming from all sides.  And then to make things even harder on myself I am acting on my “black and white” issues.  You see I see things as either right or wrong.  Very little grey area for me. 

To top it all off when I see something that is wrong I have this internal urge to make it right or at least say to whoever it is “that’s wrong.”  I try to justify these actions to myself by saying that this or that will either directly affect me/my family or it will eventually affect me/my family.  Surely I must be justified in my (selfrighteousness) to protect those whom I care about most!  However,  if I can just  make myself step back and breath I can see that in the larger scale of things the “issue of the day” is not really that big of a deal.

Even scarier, as I sit and review, is that I know what the Bible says about holding people accountable (aka judging).  Most people just say “you aren’t supposed to judge me.”  When, in fact, that is not what Holy Scripture says!  To paraphrase it says that by whatever measure I judge someone then I will be measured by that same standard!!  OUCH!!

Of course you know how these things go too.  I fear that those I so vehemently want to protect are the very ones I am causing to suffer.

I’m wondering if it is just coincidence that I stopped going to my VA counselor a couple of months ago?

Or I wonder if there is any correlation that my nephew deploys to Iraq in a few weeks?

Or…. or…. or…

Sigh.

 

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6 Responses to I’ve been feeling a bit tense lately.

  1. Michelle says:

    could be a combination of both things. we are all haveing a hard time with the nephew deploying on the 3rd. party for him this weekend wish EVERYONE could be there. I know what I wish is not always possible. maybe you could make an appointment with the VA and see if it helps.
    Love you,
    Michelle

    mssc54 replied:

    Michelle: Yeh, it could be both or niether. At any rate I have an appointment Thrusday. I’m hoping he can talk me down out of the bell tower.

    Have fun at Nate’s going away party!

  2. Joy says:

    It seems there’s so much of the “blahs” going on around blogland these days. I hope you feel better soon. It stinks to feel this way. I’ll be praying for your nephew.

    mssc54 replied:

    Joy: Thanks. The interesting thing about my nephew’s deployment to Iraq is that now Iraq is supposed to be “safer” than Afghanistan. Afghanistan was supposed to be safer than Iraq when Buddy was KIA! 😦

  3. Enola says:

    Maybe turn off the news? No good news comes from the news. I just hit the highlights on the web now. Read the headlines and I know enough.

    Hang in there. Glad you have an appt this week.

    Will be praying for your nephew.

    mssc54 replied:

    Enola: Good suggestions. Thanks much.

  4. Call your congress person? (Assuming that your troubles are based in the political arena?)

  5. Gisele says:

    Michael,
    I’m scared.

  6. K. Trainor says:

    I hope you feel better soon. I’m sure your nephew’s impending deployment does play a big part of it. When I get depressed I sleep and pray. Hope you get to do both very soon.

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