I can’t quite put my finger on it but I’ve been feeling a bit tense lately…. like things are coming from all sides. And then to make things even harder on myself I am acting on my “black and white” issues. You see I see things as either right or wrong. Very little grey area for me.
To top it all off when I see something that is wrong I have this internal urge to make it right or at least say to whoever it is “that’s wrong.” I try to justify these actions to myself by saying that this or that will either directly affect me/my family or it will eventually affect me/my family. Surely I must be justified in my (selfrighteousness) to protect those whom I care about most! However, if I can just make myself step back and breath I can see that in the larger scale of things the “issue of the day” is not really that big of a deal.
Even scarier, as I sit and review, is that I know what the Bible says about holding people accountable (aka judging). Most people just say “you aren’t supposed to judge me.” When, in fact, that is not what Holy Scripture says! To paraphrase it says that by whatever measure I judge someone then I will be measured by that same standard!! OUCH!!
Of course you know how these things go too. I fear that those I so vehemently want to protect are the very ones I am causing to suffer.
I’m wondering if it is just coincidence that I stopped going to my VA counselor a couple of months ago?
Or I wonder if there is any correlation that my nephew deploys to Iraq in a few weeks?
Or…. or…. or…