Many of you who regularly (or even sporadically) read this Blog know that at the tender ages of 49 and 51 my Mrs. and I took custody of a (then) 2 and 4 year old brother and sister. We are currently waiting on the final court date so the judge can change the names and finalize the adoption.
My wife and I have been married for a little over 35 years and have three grown biological daughters ages 29, 25 and 20. We also have two grandchildren ages 3.5 and 2.5. So now our “new kids” will be Aunt Lindsay (age 7) and Uncle Porter (age 5). What a hoot!
There have been many challenges with our “new kids”. Children who are the byproduct of years of neglect and abuse have (I hate this term but…) special needs. They don’t see the world as children of an intact, healthy “normal” family. Children who are old enough to remember their biological parents have even more issues. They have fantasies of a miraculous biological parental healing resulting in some sort of relationship with their biological family.
We, of course, are were clueless as to these issues and how to handle them. We are still learning and so are the kids.
Our biological daughters, their husbands and children have all been 100% supportive through the entire three year process. In fact, we talked with them before we agreed to take Lindsay and Porter under the State Emergency Safety Plan. Then after much prayer and discussion we talked to the girls again concerning their feelings about us adopting. They were and still are completely supportive.
The thing that I find difficult to understand is: “Why does everyone think that we are so “wonderful”? I just don’t get that. So we are not “traditional” parents at our age. So what if we are basically giving the next 15 – 20 years of our lives to (intentionally) parent these remarkable young children. What else would we do? Sit around and read books, play games, travel and just have a life of leisure? Not likely.
I think everyone’s life is busy. We have just determined that our life will be busy with doing what God has ordained us to do. Who else would choose differently?