Children having children.

Pregnant woman smoking and drinking photo

Ever since I can remember I’ve been bothered by little children being neglected and/or abused.  Especially infants!!

If you’ve paid even a moderate amount of attention to the news in recent years you should have noticed that the incidence of teenagers (and younger) girls having babies has risen to an alarming rate.

First of all it used to be a stigma to have a baby out of wedlock.  Now, it seems, that having babies out of wedlock is seen as almost popular.  But to give these procreating individuals credit, at least they chose to have the baby and not have it cut into small pieces and vacuumed out of their body.  Credit given.

I think there is enough “blame” to go around but for the most part the responsibility falls squarely on parents.  Period!  Just take a look at the number of marriages that fail.  It is difficult to parent a child properly when the child sees their mommy and daddy doing what pleases them most.  They “fall out of love” or one or the other parent cheats and a nasty divorce insues.

What are these children supposed to learn from such self centered, I deserve to be happy no matter who else gets hurt attitudes?

Still… the guys who impregnate these young girls really disgust me.  In some circles it’s almost like a badge of honor as too how many girls one boy/young man can impregnate.  Truly disgusting if you ask me.  Little thought seems to be given to the life that mother and baby is doomed to live.  No father around so they end up on public assistance or living with their mother. 

Then “The System” seems to punish the woman if she does want to get married.  In order to better support their baby these mothers may want to marry the father but if they do marry then they somehow disqualify for public housing.  So some of these fathers end up living in public housing with the baby and the baby’s mama until it’s time for the monthly inspection.  Then the father has to find some place to hold up for a day or two.

In the end the one who suffers most are the babies… the children.

These young girls who get pregnant and the boys who impregnate them may or may not know how to use a condom.  In all likely-hood they know how but choose not to.  They can write obscene language on a bathroom wall but can’t write a complete sentence.  They know how to find the free clinic but are unwilling to make it to school on a regular basis.  At some point “The System” needs to be looked at.  Why should those of us who work every day be saddled with the expense of those who seem to have recreational sex, get pregnant, have babies and hold their hands out and say “help me!”? 

Perhaps when a woman on public assistance already has a child and she gets pregnant the DNA of all the babies she has after getting into the system should be put into some data base.  Then when the baby’s daddy shows up HE can be held financially responsible.  If either or both parents are minors then I say don’t give them any financial assistance except food vouchers for the baby.

This may seem judgemental or even harsh but so what!  Something needs to be done to save the next generation.  I very seriously this little Blog post will save any babies but it’s a bit thereputic for me.

Now go out there and mentor a child!

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7 Responses to Children having children.

  1. Lindsey says:

    I don’t know what the answer is, necessarily- but I do know that it is heartbreaking to think that people would accept this as the status quo.

  2. kweenmama says:

    It is unfortunate that this seems to be the case in so many areas. I don’t know what the solution is, but maybe if family were promoted a little more, things could change?

  3. Enola says:

    Hear, hear! In my county, we want to start requiring DNA testing on all babies and parents before the birth certificate is prepared. Seems the new trend is to claim you’re “not the daddy” when you get ticked off at your boyfriend, etc. Or daddy says, “maybe I’m not the daddy, when he gets hit with a child support judgment.” In any event, we have teenagers being bastardized because the person they thought was their daddy all of a sudden isn’t anymore.

  4. marlajayne says:

    This is such a complex issue, and I, like you, am appalled at how the public attitude towards unmarried parents has changed. 40% (check it out) of all babies in America today are born to unwed mothers. Sometimes the mother chooses to remain single, and sometimes the father has “commitment issues.” But you’re so right: it’s the children who suffer.

  5. K. Trainor says:

    The degradation of our society is sad on so many levels. I agree, how can a spoiled, lazy generation create anything but more of the same? I don’t have answers, but the DNA database creeps me out. There is some information the government just doesn’t need to have its mitts on.

  6. Tosha says:

    I agree with you in so many ways but still realize there are the exceptions as there are in any situation. I did go to highschool with a girl that this post could have been written about. I think she took pride in getting pregnant and creating as many kids as she could at such a young age. She was a junior and pregnant with her 3rd child. I found out after I graduated she had had another. So before this girl even graduated highschool she had 4 kids. Her mother was raising them and never once made this child slow down. she continued to raise these children while her daughter was out partying and sleeping around. And of course they were all on welfare and society was footing the bill for her and her children. And I believe some how the girls mom was getting paid by the government to care for these children. Sad really sad. If anyone ever deserved to be forced to have her legs closed by the government this girl was one!

    Now that said.. The exception.. Of course there is always an exception and this is not simply me taking up for my family as my sister and I really do not like each other all that much. My sister got pregnant at 15. She was the good kid. The one my parents trusted completely. She never did any wrong. EVER. Yet she ended up pregnant. Mind you it was the very first time she had ever had sex as well.. (it only takes once.. maybe we should preach that more as well). My parents were good parents. They were always there and did their jobs. This was not a case of parents being neglectful or self centered or anything like that.My parents were very involved. We had good parents. That said my parents trusted my SISTER (yeah not so much me..) 100%. Anyhow. She ended up pregnant. She had my niece at 16 and while it was hard she graduated highschool early and raised her daughter. She was/is a good parent. Always has been. She could be self centered as any teenager can be at times but she was a damn good parent. That kid has always been first and no one else raised her.And not once was my sister or niece ever on government support. My sister has always done her job. My nieces dad and his family has ALWAYS been in the picture and helped support her. My sister is now married and has other children. She has a good life and a great job. My nieces dad and his family are very much a part of that life. They are extremely involved and its kinda weird but they are part of our extended family. They are there for holidays and family functions and it seems like they always have been. I’m far from promoting teen pregnancy by saying this. I’m simply saying that there are the exceptions though they are few and far between. And it’s not always the parents fault. I’m one of the first to agree when a child screws up it falls on the parents. I blame parents often for the moral decline of society. But there are the exceptions.

  7. Tony says:

    I knew a guy who had been paying child support to his ex-wife for his daughter for about 8 years, He heard from a friend that his ex had been bragging that she was getting all this money from him for a child that wasn’t even his. The next time he had his daughter for a visit he went & got a DNA test done. Not his child. He was absolutely shattered as he was really close to his little girl. He rand the Government Child Support Agency & they said he didn’t have to pay anymore. He asked about compensation for the tens of thousands of dollars already paid & was told too bad…

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