Neanderthal or Traditionalist?

Recently I’ve gotten myself into a couple of “intense discussions.”  Both times it started with “the other person” using the “F” word.  Both of these “discussions” happened on Facebook and the persons are friends of my friends.  One person used the word while the other person began with the “F” but then used other characters on the key board to finish “spelling” it out.  Like that’s somehow more acceptable.

The thing that I found most disconcerting about these two incidents is that both people were female!  That’s just so foreign to me that I was just flabbergasted by the incidents.  “Get over yourself” one woman told me.  The other woman asked me if I had ever heard of the First Amendment (not very condecending at all).  She further called me a Neanderthal.

Get over myself?  I’m still not sure I know what she meant by that remark.  First Amendment, right?  Sure we (as citizens of the United States of  America) have the right to free speech.  However, my point was that just because we have the right to do something and we are physically able to do it does not mean that we should do it!  I mean she has the right to eat four dozen doughnuts a day every day but I’ll bet she doesn’t.  She also has the right to give all her money to needy people but I’ll bet she doesn’t do that either.

I’m just baffled as to when it became in vogue for seemingly well educated adults to throw around curse words… especially the “F” word.  And women at that!!  Both of these women are college educated and it seems to me that they should have learned how to better express themself or at least have a more acceptable list of words to express their frustration(s) or anger.  But  hey, maybe I’m giving education too much credit.

Perhaps the manner in which a person conducts them self is more about lifestyle than it is education.  Maybe it’s just coincidental that both of these women belong to the same political party.  Maybe it’s just coincidental that both of these women express the same values regarding “religion.”

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying that these women are “bad people”.  What I am saying is that they don’t put forth a very lady-like appearance when they lay hold of their First Amendment right and let the four letter words fly.  What ever happened to women wanting to be lady-like?  Do they think they are cool?  Do they feel like they have to speak that way to be accepted in certain groups?  Could it be as simple as a “bad habit” that has gone on for so long that they don’t recognise how it makes them sound/look to most people.  But I can hear “them” now, “My friends talk like I do and it’s not a big deal.”  Well if it’s really not a big deal then why don’t they speak like that ALL THE TIME?!  I mean if, for instance, they are employed in a professional office setting do they let the four letter words fly in their office?  How about while they are talking to their peers, customers or even their supervisor?  Highly unlikely.  So then, the “Cursers” really do know that that type of speech is unacceptable.  Seems a little two faced to me too speak one way with one group of people and then to clean it up and speak a different way… when it will affect your income. 

You know, honestly, I can’t remember the last time I heard someone actually say “that word.”  I’m okay with that too.  I guess the ole saying “birds of a feather flock together” is accurate… coincidentally.

So, in closing, I guess I’ll admit to being a Neanderthal-Traditionalist.

Dang it!


37 Responses to Neanderthal or Traditionalist?

  1. lawyermommy says:


    Interesting piece. I was brought up in a home where everyone was proper, educated blah blah blah. I even attended what was considered a “finishing school for girls” at the time. British founded and run along those precepts. And I tell you I did not swear.. at least not aloud for about twenty something years. And now, Christian and all, I let it rip when needed.

    Now I am not going to WTF you in the midst of regular conversation… but sometimes and with some people, unfortunately they summon my inner Neanderthal and that “person” is an integral part of who I am. Recognizing that part of me has been INTENSELY LIBERATING… seriously.

    I doubt that I will ever stop letting it fly–when needed of course LOL It is an expression of my freedome to say what the HECK I feel. Heck yeah. (notice heck was substituted for what I really wanted to write… haha)

    Okay, now you must be wide eyed in shock…. BUT here is the GOOD NEWS….: On days that I really let it rip on my blog or elsewhere… I pray? 🙂


    mssc54 replied:

    Ciao: The term “Christian” is thrown about pretty loosely these days. I believe that as we (followers of the Christ) grow and mature in our relationship with the Savior we change. Old things are put away and new thing bloom. Perhaps as one becomes more “Christ-like” their old wine skins will be put away.

    Thanks for stopping by and contributing!

  2. dodie says:

    Wow. I knew we had taken different paths, but wow. That is the most sexist thing I have read in a long time.

    Is it acceptable for men to say “fuck” but not women? Since when did it become a requirement to be “lady-like?” Fuck that! My boss has heard me say that word. My mother has heard me say that word. Pretty much everyone who has spent more than 10 minutes with me has heard me say that word.

    “Bad language” doesn’t make you a bad person. I consider it “colorful” language and it is how I express myself. Seriously, I try to keep it to a minimum with people who may be offended by it (my Mom, for example), but I think you are making a lot of unfair assumptions about people who “curse.”

    But mostly I’m offended by the double standard, with comments such as “both people were female!” and “And women at that!! and “What ever happened to women wanting to be lady-like?” Seriously, the “f word” might offend you, but sexist remarks like that really offend me.

    Different strokes, I guess.

    mssc54 replied:

    Dodie: So because I don’t like to hear the “F” word (especially from women) that makes me a sexist? Like it or not there are different standards for men and women. I am not saying that it’s okay for men to use foul language either. Inappropriate is inappropriate regardless of who generates it.

    As you know I have four daughters. I always open their doors and do my best to treat them “special”. I do that because, in the case of the older girls, I wanted to “plant” something inside of them so when they began dating and some guy didn’t treat them respectfully I wanted them to recognise that. They may not have been able to put their finger on it but they would just know that something was amiss. Does that make me a sexist? Our 29 year old daughter married the second guy she ever dated. They have been married for just over six years and have a four year old son. Our 25 year old daughter (coincidentally?) married the second guy she ever dated. They were married just over two years when Buddy was KIA in Afghanistan and their son is just over two years old now. Our twenty year old daughter is now serious about the second guy she has ever dated. By most standards each of our (grown) daughters are successful (healthy marriages/relationships, secure, long term jobs and live in beautiful homes in nice neighborhoods).

    I will defend our daughter’s rights to pursue anything they wish to pursue regardless if people think they should stay home barefood and pregnant or not.

    Incidentally, I also supported my Mrs. when she graduated from the first class of female Shipfitters at the Charleston Naval Ship Yard. When she left that job to become a high school teacher her title was Shop Forman Nuclear Shipfitter. My Mrs. is in a very select group of women who would physically go onto nuclear submarines and remove the lead shields from the reactors.

    I tell you all that to say that being a sexist (to me) is holding a double standard. I do not. I just believe that lady like behavior should be taught (by parents), encouraged (in public and private) and certainly enjoyed by those exposed to it and demonstrating it.

    Different strokes I do suppose. 🙂

    • dodie says:

      Dearest Michael,

      Can you describe ‘Lady-like” behavior? What about it applies to only females? Or is there a certain level of social behavior that you think we would all do well to abide by?


      mssc54 replied:

      Dodie: Lady-like behavior is just the same as gentlemenly behavior only with girl parts. 🙂

      • Gisele says:

        ROFL @ you & Dodie! 🙂

        mssc54 replied:

        Gisele: ROFL right back at ya! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

        PS: The kids are waiting for to bring the tent!

  3. servant says:

    My personal feeling is that whether it is men or women, the use of profanity is neither colorful, creative, or liberating…I believe it to be mental laziness and rude. Even television “beeps” its most cherished celebrities when they let it fly on public airways. There is a 7 second delay for radio for those who have limited vocabularies.

    To most people, profanity does say something about a person (male or female). Like it or not, when the vast majority of the public hear profanity of that sort…they form an opinion about that person. That is not necessarily “sexist”, “racist”, or any other “ist”…it is what decent people consider common courtesy. And while Dodie is theoritically correct when she states that “bad language doesn’t make you a bad person” (depending on how you define “bad”); most parents of children would certainly have some misgivings and concerns about their kids hanging around with people who use that regularly and flippantly.

    For me, profanity is like bad breath or body odor. There might be something sort of decent under there, but are you willing to endure the “stench” to find out?

    mssc54 replied:

    Servant: The bad breath or body odor is a very analogy.

  4. I am busted, LOL. I am huge fan of “WTF”. Maybe it’s a generational thing?

    mssc54 replied:

    Hayden: It just occurred to me that perhaps instead of a “generational thing” it is rather a parenting thing. I would be curious to know how many of the defenders of the “First Amendment” (as described in this Blog post) are parents. 😉

    • dodie says:

      It could well be a parenting thing. I know that the two women to whom you are refering both chose not to procreate. Same with me. I know many friends whose language is different around their kids than it is when it is ‘just us.’

      I reserve my right to curse as much as I like, however I see fit. But I don’t think I would want my four-year-old kid (if I had one) to be telling her teachers to fuck off! LOL

      BTW, neither of my parents EVER cursed when we were growing up. Now that we are all grown and my parents are no longer together, I hear a lot more cursing from everyone. 🙂

      mssc54 replied:

      Dodie: Children pick up everything. Thanks for taking time to comment!

  5. Enola says:

    My dad never cursed or allowed us too. Mom let it fly after the divorce. I was permitted to curse at home, provided I didn’t direct it toward mom. I also grew up in NJ where profanity seems more accepted. I had a foul mouth in college. A professor pulled me aside and told me that I was in the south now and right or wrong, women would be judged if they cursed. When I started practicing law I learned the art of a well-placed cuss word. If you curse all the time, you’re just crass. But a carefully chosen curse word for emphasis can be the turning point of a case.
    And I do use “WTF” – I guess I don’t see it as bad as saying the words. Just me though.

    mssc54 replied:

    Enola: “Well-placed cuss word.” Thanks for sharing some lawyer tricks with us. 😉

  6. Joy says:

    I wish that I had something very witty for you but sadly, I don’t. You know very well what I think (I think) because I’ve told you. I feel anyone who “hides” behind “Christianity” and has to keep telling people constantly how “Christian” they are, are the poorest kind.

    I’m sorry but I’m going to be honest. I think you are extremely judgmental of others and I feel you are way to serious to the point that you can’t accept people for the way they are. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Just skip on by. It’s your choice to follow those bad bad people.

    Do I curse, not very often. Do I say fuck, not very often but I do use the WTF with certain people. Now if I choose to do that, it’s none of your business. I am 51 years old and while I do not say fuck in front of small children or my boys when they were small, I can do it when with adults if I choose to and I wouldn’t appreciate a post written about me. It’s your choice to go to Facebook and you can hide people you don’t want to read but Michael, can’t you see this is wrong of you? Each of us have the right to be us. Ladylike? I am ladylike when I need to be but if I do want to let the words fly in a given situation, that’s up to God to punish me and not you.

    mssc54 replied:

    Joy: You could be right. Thanks for contributing.

    • servant says:

      Isn’t it judgmental to judge Michael for being judgmental? I mean why is it wrong to judge people for dropping the f-bomb, but it is OK to judge someone’s personal religious preference. I guess judgment is in the eyes of judge, huh?

      • Joy says:

        Okay, lets see…so, it was wrong of me to judge Michael and then it was wrong for you to judge me and it was wrong of him to judge “friends of friends? HUH??” I also don’t feel it’s judging when something is asked of me. He wrote this post. He asked. I would never presume to tell anyone what to do. AND HE KNOWS THAT.

        Re-read this post. Then tell me he’s not judging these women. He’s judging their education, political party and their ladylike qualities and he doesn’t even know them. They are FRIENDS OF FRIENDS! Who is he to have “intense discussions” with them? It is 100% not his business. I didn’t write the post, Michael did.

        You also don’t know “our” history so I don’t feel you have the whole scoop here. So I won’t judge you for judging me for judging him for judging those women. If he wasn’t making a judgement or coming to a conclusion of these two, what was the post about?

        If he doesn’t want to read bad language he doesn’t have to read it. That is plain and simple but he has no right to “reprimand” women who are having fun on Facebook when he doesn’t even know them. Nobody does. He acts like the big bad principal hiding in a closet trying to catch people “acting up.” I call it being a bully.

        mssc54 replied:

        Joy: Of course I was judging them! However, I wasn’t judging their soul. That’s way above my pay grade. What I was judging was behavior. Everyone judges behavior… everyong.

        Here’s what I was judging.

        Education: I guess I’m wrong but I have always thought that people who have a higher education (especially past the normal 4 years of college) have a tendancy to be more refined in their interactions, etc. Maybe most are but these two were/are not.

        Political Party: It has also been my observation(s) that members of political parties have a tendancy (a proclivity) to view certain things along those party lines. Not all things but most, that’s why they/we belong to that particular party. These women (apparently) feel that just because they have a “right” and it doesn’t cause anyone physical harm then it’s okay. And we aren’t talking about the occassional “F” either.

        Lady-like qualities: These women may act “lady-like” some or even most of the time. But to throw around the “F” word like they were was neither lady-like or (if they had been men) gentlemanly.

        And as for me not even knowing them… I know enough to know that I don’t care to get to know them any better. I’ve never been to a sewage treatment plant either but I just know I wouldn’t want to go swiming there.

        As for having “intense discussions,” it takes two or more to have a discussion. If it’s just one person talking it’s more of a speach.

        Thanks for taking time to comment and then comment on the comment. You are quite the commenter! 😉

  7. nikki says:

    I don’t think it’s up to you or anyone else to judge anyone for anything! If you don’t want to be around company like that then don’t. If you don’t want to read the word “fuck” on FB or wherever then delete that person. For such a small word it really is made to be so big. It’s a word, nothing physical, it can’t hurt you. It’s a WORD, a bad word, yea but who cares! My goodness what’s it hurting you? I say it but I know when and where I shouldn’t say it. If I have daycare kids or have my son around I don’t say. But if I get hurt, you will hear me scream the word. If I’m out with friends I will say whatever I feel like saying. I don’t even know how I would react if another adult asked me to not say that! Especially if their isn’t any children around. Who are you to tell me to be lady like? I am who I am, a lady when I need to be and always true to myself! I don’t pretend to holier than thou and I don’t judge people for the way they are. I’m not judging you, I am just commenting on your post. I don’t agree with any of what you say but you are entitled to that opinion as I am entitled to mine.

    mssc54 replied:


    People tell us all of our life how to do things, how to say things, what to say, not to say, etc. You are correct, in that, we each have to make our own determination as to what is right, what is wrong, what is proper and what is improper. We, citizens of the USA, are fortunate that we can (pretty much) say what whatever we want, when we want. Our personal choices determine our character and how people view us and feel about is. You are also correct in that no body can force another person to interact with them.

    Thanks for taking the time to comment! 🙂

    • nikki says:

      I’d also like to say just because that word does occasionally come out of my mouth doesn’t mean I have bad character, ask anyone who knows me. Not too sure you could find one person that KNOWS me would say anything bad about me. And my mom Joy has very good character also, she’s one of the kindest ladies I know and just because she may say a bad word here or there doesn’t make her a bad person either. Take people for who they are and don’t judge. I have friends that I too would be shocked if that word came out, boy and girl, and I also have friends that say the F word in every sentence. I love them all and respect them the same. 🙂

      mssc54 replied:

      Nikki: I wasn’t questioning anyones character. I was merely trying to point out that the sum of our actions determines our character.

      Thanks again!

      PS: How can “they” let a baseball game end in a 24-24 tie? Speaking from years of experience, coaching youth sports can be quite challenging. But that’s another post entirely. lol

      • nikki says:

        I think sometimes you insinuate and to me it’s the same thing as actually saying it, but that’s just me. No hard feelings about it. I don’t care what people think.

        In the little league here they play 4 innings. If one team gets 6 runs in one inning it’s the end of that inning for them. Or they’d be out there all night. It’s just too hard for some kids to make actual outs. So each team got up to bat 4 times and each time they got 6 runs!! Funny huh? Bailey did make a double play though and never got out so it was a good game just long! I think it gets tougher in the next league up. He’ll be with the 9-10 year olds. We’ll see, they have so much fun!

      • tessa says:

        Mssc, I agree our actions determine our character. Well said.

        So many people I hear say that just because they say or do something doesn’t mean they are a bad person or they didn’t mean it, it was an accident, so therefore that action or thing they said wasn’t really them.

        My husband use to make racist jokes, but didn’t “really” mean them. Well…come on! If you talk like one, walk like one, you are one. Luckily, he has taken my point and does not make those jokes anymore. Because he honestly respects all people, but saying the jokes is not respecting those people. Well, yes it is if that is how you are perceived. A girl sleeps around every weekend, and then states she is a lady and should be respected….well that is not what everyone else thinks about you.

  8. servant says:

    Just an amusing thought (in my humble opinion)

    People want to use the f-bomb on facebook, which most use as a very public place to keep in touch with all kinds of friends and people; however…don’t hold me accountable for using it and certainly don’t blog about it. It is my right to say what I want (1st ammendment), where I want, and how I want…but no one should DARE question me. That is judging. How ridiculous. If your tough enough to use the word, then get thicker skinned when people think it’s shabby! These people put themselves out there in the public domain and got “called” on their language. Come on!!! If you are so adamant about your right to swear…then you should be ready for those who think it to be noise pollution.

    It’s a free country for the rest of us too.

    • nikki says:

      You’re right everyone does has the right to their own opinion. Anyone has that right to come up to me and say they disapprove or what have you. I in turn have that right to say, I frankly don’t give a hoot what you think! Freedom rules! 🙂

  9. nikki says:

    Oh and one more thing, what does saying the “F” word have anything to do with what religion they choose? I know all walks of life, all religions and all have some that say a bad word now and again. So what would be the correlation between their religion and cussing?

  10. marlajayne says:

    Hmmm. Looks like you’ve created quite a flurry of posts because of your post on that word…you know, THAT ONE. I have to side with you and servant on this one, although “side with” is probably not the smartest term to use.

    Freedom of speech is certainly a right and a privilege of those of us fortunate enough to live in America. At the same time, we all need to be aware of the impact and importance of our words…what they are, how we use them, and even how we string them together to make a sentence. Employers, colleagues, children, and EVERYMAN all make judgments based on our language use and misuse. Among the professionals I know, no one would hire or promote a person, male or female, who used THAT WORD. Nor would they seriously consider someone who wrote something like “their isn’t any children around.” Sorry to be so harsh, but facts are facts. If you want to be treated seriously and with respect, clean up the language and take a grammar class.

    Yes, yes, I know I make tons of mistakes, but there are some I won’t make, including using words that create a “stench.” Instead of being angry and annoyed with mssc, you should thank him; he’s doing you a favor.

    mssc54 replied:

    Marlajayne: Thanks for commenting. Really.

    • nikki says:

      Thanks for catching that Marlajayne. My mistake. 🙂 I guess because I misused a word on accident doesn’t qualify me to receive respect. However I am highly respected and very humble. Thank you for that clarification though, truly!

      mssc54 replied:

      Nikki: As I have said previously, communicating via the medium of the internet leaves alot to be desired. Then when you add to that something we try to write about that we are passionate about silly little mistakes are bound to happen. 😉

  11. dodie says:

    Dude. You just compared my two best friends to swimming in a sewage treatment plant.

    And because you judge them as not lady-like because they use a word you deem inappropriate.

    Those are two of the most remarkable human beings I have ever met. Intelligent, caring, compassionate, passionate, educated, funny, I could go on and on. As if it would matter. You should be so lucky as to call them your friends. You have no idea.

    I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion. But at least make it an informed one.

    And how do you respond when someone says something so offensive and so vile about two of the people you admire most in this world? Would “fuck you” be an appropriate response?

    mssc54 replied:

    Dodie: I did not compare any human being to swimming in a sewage treatment plant. What I am trying to communicate is that based on my limited exposure to people who so casually use such language and too my limited knowledge of sewage treatment plants I would not (personally) choose to hang around either.

    I will, however, concede one point. I do know you, not as well as when we were in high school, of course. I know you like to “let it rip” at times. Maybe even often, I don’t know. But in spite of what you have written here I believe that based on our history (if we were ever to see each other again) I believe that you would have respect enough for my view to express yourself in such a way that I would not be offended.

    It’s very difficult to communicate completely on the internet (no voice inflection, body language, etc.). What I am saying about you Dodie is that I don’t believe for a second that you would (intentionally) hurt another living being.

  12. Mary says:

    what I don’t get, is you can go on and on about how awful these women are because they say the F word. you are a murderer and an animal abuser on a daily basis, but you don’t seem to think murder, torture, neglect, or abuse is wrong. how on earth could saying the f word be worse than that?

    from the way it sounds, these girls said something that really made you think about your actions and now you are on the defensive focusing all this energy onto something else which really doesn’t even warrant a discussion.

    you should think about what is making you feel so guilty you have to deflect attention and so publicly shame such trivial behavior?

    mssc54 replied:

    Mary: You could be on to something here. Honestly, I was giving some consideration to some of your views. However, when I was treated in such a harsh manner it did make me reconsider considering my life style (a meat eater). I don’t want to “hi-jack” this thread debating the merrits of the subject you brought up.

    BTW I never used anyone’s name only gender, which (I believe) is germain to the subject matter.

    Thanks for taking the time to comment. And for the record I think abuse of any living, breathing form of life is dispicable.

  13. servant says:

    I wonder if the increasing irritation that this conversation is producing is due to the fact that a couple of these writers have been put into the corner of having to defend the use of the F-word? Isn’t it really sad that you feel like you have to defend it’s use and not just be able to say, “Sorry, I could have chosen a better word”.

    All of this energy to protect and defend the right of the “f” word. Is it just me, or have we just entered an alternate universe?

    mssc54 replied:

    Servant: Rod Serling here, “BEAM ME UP PLEASE!”

  14. ForTheAnimals says:


    I am one of those horrible, vile, unladylike women you referred to. You, however, are a sexist and a speciesist. You also suffer from cognitive dissonance. That’s what people develop when they learn that the way they are living their lives is not in keeping with their “values”. However, instead of changing their precious, comfy lifestyle, they would rather attack the messenger in any desperate way they can (in this case, for uttering the word “FUCK”). We encounter this childish and extremely immature behavior every time we talk about what happens to animals raised for food. People don’t want to know, as it would clash with their professed “love” of animals. You say you think abuse of any living being is wrong. Does it count when you pay someone else to torture and kill it for you because “it tastes good”??
    Shame on you. I’m being nice, otherwise I would say “Fuck you”.

    mssc54 replied:

    ForTheAnimals: At the risk of hi-jackling this thread into a post about animal abuse, I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt and publish your comment. After all you did kinda make (part of) my point with your big “FY” finish.

    Have you ever heard the term, “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar?” It seems that some would rather revel in their First Amendment rights to use vile language than use terms that those seeking information would rather listen to. In the end, the hatred for those you disdane far out weighs the professed love you have for those you wish to save.

    Thus the cycle continues and little is changed.

    Thanks for stopping by and sharing you views.

    • servant says:

      How did meat eating and FY get hooked up together.


      mssc54 replied:

      Servant: I’m not positive but I am pretty sure that the two women mentioned in this original Blog post are Vegans. So (I guess) by their reasoning since I eat meat I should not (nor should I have the right to) be concerned about anything else in my life until I become a Vegan. But honestly, the way they presented themselves leaves me with the fealing that I really don’t want to be like them. If not for my friend Dodie I would not even consider making any changes. I am at least considering, considering some gradual changes to my diet.

      However on Memorial Day I think we’ll either put a Boston Butt or a pork tenderlion on the smoker!

  15. goldenamber says:

    My goodness, what a discussion!

    You know, this is a really hard post for me. I see it clearly from all sides, and I kinda say “right on” to all who have expressed their opinions here.

    When I first moved to England, I caught a slang word “Bloody”. I didn’t think of it as cussing to be honest, I don’t think I gave it much thought. That is until one day a little old lady said to me “You know, that doesn’t sound very nice”. I was appalled!!! I pride myself on being polite and respectable… and there I was sounding like a trash mouth to her. I quickly dropped it.

    Now, there are some people who if I am around long enough, I pick up their habit for a while until I catch myself. Suddenly with them its normal and every day. But as soon as I am out of their company I don’t normally cuss. Weird I know.

    As far as the first Amendment goes… Hello? Does anyone get that EVERYONE has the right to their say… both consenting and de-scenting? That is the First Amendment… and to base this argument on that… well…lol.

    Name calling however is a whole other kettle of fish. That is direct and personal. That is a whole other offense right there. Calling someone a name because they simply don’t agree with you is… well I don’t have to spell it out for you here. Obviously the person isn’t sufficiently educated to have a proper debate.

    I think the thing here is… respecting each other’s rights. Michael your right to not cuss, and their right to do so if they choose.


    mssc54 replied:

    Goldenamber: Thanks so much for contributing. It’s nice to have (more) intellictual input.

    Now get back to that camera! 🙂

    • nikki says:

      I agree with you, I think the way you use it matters. I don’t tell anyone…FUCK YOU, or you’re a fucking bleep! I generally say it in a casual conversation with certain people or when I get hurt then I scream it maybe. I understand it’s offensive to some people and I do respect that. I wouldn’t say it in front of my grandma! If I’m having a conversation with someone else and it’s overheard or seen I don’t feel they should let me know they don’t like it! However if I’m talking to you and you express that you don’t prefer it, I would respect that.
      I don’t think it defines you as a person, I know some highly successful people that when things get heated the “F” bomb comes flying in!

  16. Alan says:

    You know when a man cares about a woman he makes love to her. When he does not he calls it the other word being used here. The former is an act of giving the latter of using. I think the word itself is much worse than sexist. It demeans user and hearer in the same act of dismissive utilitarianism.

    The act described by the word is intended to give life. The act described by that language is violent consumption. People know that instinctively when they punctuate their emotions by using that language.

    No doubt the people using those words are in many ways wonderful and beautiful. But for those moments they have lost both the beauty and wonder they were designed to bring.

    mssc54 replied:

    Alan: Welcome and thank you for reminding each of us… well:

    “No doubt the people using those words are in many ways wonderful and beautiful. But for those moments they have lost both the beauty and wonder they were designed to bring.”

    There really is nothing to add. Thanks for putting things into proper perspective.

    • nikki says:

      True as that may be, we can’t be beautiful and wonderful ALL the time! 😉 That was a Joke.
      Great discussion, pretty heated. I’m not used to that! I generally stay out of stuff like this! Have a good evening Michael.

      mssc54 replied:

      Nikki: Surely you’re talking about the “sometimes, inner beauty.” Right? I mean your outer beauty is pretty evident. 🙂

      You have done a great job participating today. Thanks so much. Either you have a lap top or Bailey didn’t have practice/game today! lol

  17. nikki says:

    Well thanks for that compliment! It was different for me that’s for sure. I guess when you put yourself out there like you did and I did as well you have to expect anything. My poor lil heart couldn’t take this everyday, I don’t know how people do it!
    Oh and no practice or game…just me, the boy and the hubby for some nice R&R!

    mssc54 replied:

    Nikki: “NEWS FLASH!” Blogging soon to take the place of jogging for cardio vascular work out. I think it’s important to remember that this Blogging thing is but a blip on the screen of our lives. It does (often) give me pause for thought.

    • dodie says:

      “NEWS FLASH!” Blogging soon to take the place of jogging for cardio vascular work out.

      Now THAT was funny! 🙂

      mssc54 replied:

      Dodie: You know better than most; my whit is a gift… or a curse depending on your point of view. 🙂

  18. Jon says:

    Jesus said, “From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” So yes the language which flows out of our mouth does say a lot about us. To an insightful person it can give away the type of family environment that someone grew up in, the religious upbringing (or lack thereof), the socio-economic status, even sexual orientation and political preferences. Just by listening to an individual’s choice of words, tone and content, much can be discerned. It is clearly evident that those who have a problem with Chivalry come from a certain set of experiences and values. To those, on behalf of the men that have hurt you so that you feel you must break forth from gender roles, I would like to apologize. Sincerely

    mssc54 replied:

    Jon: Welcome, you have some very interesting insight. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Come back to visit some time.

  19. Hobo says:

    Well my runaway buddy. It looks like you ‘ve got yourself in pretty deep this time. A person who uses that type language and has no guilt or conviction is full of pride and selfishness. Until they have a change of heart and consider other people more important than themselves -they won’t change. I use to say that word in every sentence but the Good Lord changed my heart. I am not perfect my any means but there was a day when Jesus Christ considered us more important at Calvary.

  20. You bring up a very good point. I unfortunately curse a lot more than I should (admittedly) but I do admit my faults. People who hide behind sayings like , “Have you ever heard of the 1st Amendment” are unwilling to except the fact that maybe they should use a bit more couth in there argument.

  21. Des says:

    Weird as it may seem, I’ve found that the women I’ve worked with over the years curse way more than men. These are women on any part of the food chain from secretary to CEO.

    mssc54 replied:

    Des: Perhaps the reason for that is they were trying to “fit in” with the men. Maybe they thought they needed to do that to succeed. If that is, in fact, the case; how much have you succeeded if you have to pretend to be someone you aren’t? Sad really.

  22. lawyerchik1 says:

    I agree with Des. There is a woman lawyer in my office whose vocabulary is fraught with f-bombs and other not-so-niceties, and my secretary (when she is just chatting with me about her home, husband or child) has similar speech patterns, while most of the guys are much more restrained in their speech – at least around me, anyway. I have (to my discredit) used “that word” maybe a half-dozen times myself in the last 5 years, and each time, it made me wince…..

    Give me a dozen Neanderthal-Traditionalists any day of the week over a flurry of f-bombs…. It just sounds ugly coming out of anyone’s mouth.

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