Earlier in the week I was sitting down with my leg elevated on the recliner couch. Our little seven year old comes up and asks if she can snuggle with me. Of course that always thrilled when she is so affectionate… which is often.
So we are sitting there watching MONK and one of the actors says, “You can’t make that decision. Only her biological mother can.” Uh oh!
“Daddy, what’s a biological mother?” I tried to blow it off but she asked again. Now for those of you who don’t know we took physical custody of our youngest little girl and her younger brother in May of 2006 and we just heard yesterday that the State should have all the necessary paperwork together for us to go in and sign on the 29th of April. Then we have to wait on a court date to finalize the adoption of our new kids (ages 7 & 5 now). So anyway I tell her that a biological mother is a woman who carries the baby in her belly before it’s born. That seemed to satisfy her curiosity and I thought that was the end of it. Boy was I ever wrong!
We have this Mexican place we usually eat at on Tuesdays evenings (kids eat free!). So after dinner the Mrs. and the kids dropped me off at our local church so I could attend our weekly men’s bible study.
I got home about 8:30 and the Mrs. Says to me, “I had a pretty rough time while you were gone.” Our little boy has been experiencing some difficulty with his behavior so I immediately thought it was him. No, she says it was her. What? What in the world happened?!
The Mrs: Well I checked her homework and it was really sloppy and I pointed out how sloppy it was and told her she needed to redo it. The Girl: It’s fine! Everyone else’s looks like that! The Mrs: It doesn’t matter what the other kids work looks like yours should be done neatly. The Girl: (screaming) YOUR NOT MY MOMMY! I HATE YOU! I DON’T WANT TO LIVE HERE ANYMORE! I’M GOING TO GET MY CLOTHES AND RUN AWAY!.
The Mrs. was almost in tears as she related the events of the next hour and a half. I felt so bad that I wasn’t there to help. Then I really felt bad because I realized how all this got started. It was the “what’s a biological mother?” question. I guess I should have realized that that opened a door to her little heart and I should have taken time to talk to her more about that. What a dummy! Sigh.
The Girl eventually said she was sorry but still… So this weekend we will have this talk with her about what/who she was really mad at/about.
This is all so new and different but then we knew there would be days like this.