I’ve made a concious decision to let it go.




On February 19th of 2007 while serving as an army combat medic our son-in-law was killed in action (KIA) by a Taliban sniper.  I’ve written about those early days here https://mssc54.wordpress.com/our-american-hero/    The “Death at the Front Door” is a three part series that entails the period of time from the night we were notified through Buddy’s buriel.

Through personal conversations I had (with both officers and enlisted men) I learned that the official (public) information released surrounding the circumstances of Buddy’s death were “less than accurate.”  To put it nicely.

I must say that the army has done everything in it’s power to keep me fromkeep the status quo the status quo.  Eventually they did release a redacted report to me (with my daughter’s written permission).  There were a few things I found interesting in the Report.  First of all there were only three written statements.  Were it not for the nams on each of the statements one would be hard-pressed to know that they had been written by three seperate individuals.    Isn’t it interesting that in the heat of a fire fight that three soldiers will see and do exactly the same thing?  It’s as if there was some meeting where they came to a conconcious of what to “swear to”.  But maybe they each had the same vantage point and same recolections.  Maybe.

More interesting (to me) is that there were no sworn statements (provided to me)  from the 10th Mt. Division guys.  The 10th Mt. Division up-armored Humvee is actually the one who physically recovered Buddy’s body and brought it back to base.  I find it more than odd that the only sworn statements included in the Report the army released to me were the statements of those whom I was told (off the record) refused to engage the enemy.  In fact, I was told that when the 10th Mt. Division called for their 50 cal to engage they didn’t even answer their radio.  Although it is possible there were communication problems.  Perhaps Buddy’s “friends” simply did not hear the 10th Mt. Division’s call for help.

I am registered to vote in both Senator Lindsey Graham’s  (who is actually on the Armed Services Committee) and Congressman Henry Brown’s district.  I was advised to contact one or both of them for further assistance.

However, after much prayer and reflection I have decided that ultimately God is in charge and no amount of further consternation on my part will change the past.  I can only hope and pray that the knock that came to our front door bearing life-altering news is not visited upon other families because of the same (in)actions by the same soldiers.  But you know what?  I have never (personally) been in a fire-fight.  I hope that I would respond in the same manner as Buddy did but I can’t honestly say how I would respond with bullets zinging all around me.

I honestly wish no one any ill will.  In fact I pray that all those involved live long, happy and peaceful lives with their wives, children and friends.  I pray that as they are deployed (now and in the future) they are protected from any harm what-so-ever.

May the Lord bless them and protect them from their enemies and from themselves.

I’m done.


6 Responses to I’ve made a concious decision to let it go.

  1. I don’t understand what they are trying to cover up. It seems like a story you’d WANT to tell.

    mssc54 replied:

    Hayden: You are absolutely correct. Sgt Buddy James Hughie’s story is one that should be told! However, what the army doesn’t want to talk about is why (if the sworn statements are correct) did those in the Humvee with Buddy get transferred out within two days of the fire-fight.

  2. That’s a difficult decision to make. From my point of view, it is an amazing achievement.

    Forgiveness is the first step towards a balanced mind and clear conscience. It releases all that pain and anger that have been cluttering your thoughts and well being.

    But life continues and the only way to go through this situation is maybe helping your closest people live with it.

    mssc54 replied:

    Dimitar: Pain is a great motivator. In the end it is up to every individual to decide how that motivation will look. Thanks for stopping by.

  3. Joy says:

    I was happy to read this. Well, NOT HAPPY happy but you know what I mean?? You can’t change the outcome. Maybe it’s best to let this rest now. Help raise that little boy and help your daughter and keep Buddy’s spirit alive but stop the merry go round you’ve been on. I feel that this is such a positive step in the right direction and feel you will be able to heal now.

    God Bless You M.

    mssc54 replied:

    Joy: In the words of those great British Theologians, it’s been a long and winding road.

  4. marlajayne says:

    This is tough. But you’re right. Hanging onto hurt and anger can’t help you or your family to move on. At the same time, I’m sure you’ll find a good balance that will allow you to honor him and his heroic sacrifice while continuing to live a Christ-centered life. What would Buddy want?

    mssc54 replied:

    Marlajayne: I wish it were as easy as making a concious decision. Thanks for stopping by.

  5. TRO says:

    You brave son is now happy with God so the only thing that matters now is making sure your family is happy too. If letting go, as difficult as that surely is, helps do that, then that is the correct path.

    God Bless you.

    mssc54 replied:

    TRO: Buddy was actually my son-in-law. Thank you.

  6. psychscribe says:

    I’m so glad you’re going to give it to God. That’s the only way I’ve ever found any relief and growth from the pain in my life.

    mssc54 replied:

    Psychscribe: It’s taken me a while to get here.

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