March 2nd, 2009
I was reading over something I wrote last year and felt it was worthy of a rewrite and front page exposure again.
September 3, 2008
Although I am a guy, a husband, a daddy I have some pretty strong opinions regarding raising children.
I know stereotypically I should be worried about my career advancement, how much money I can horde away for the future, how I look, the car I drive and so on.
But you know what I have always been a bit off on all of that. Although I have owned my own business since 1984 I really haven’t spent a whole lot of time trying to build it to this million dollar business as some in my industry have done. At one time I did have five or six vans on the road but oh man the head aches.
It just seems like whenever we need a “big lick” it shows up. And I think I know why.
As I read my Bible I see some consistent themes, love one another, take care of the little ones (for they are helpless), don’t worry about tomorrow for the flowers in the field and the birds of the air don’t, do not store up what rust and moths can destroy. Most of all… make sure my relationship with the Trinity is first and foremost.
I will be the first to admit that, at times, I have fallen woefully short on my relationship with the Trinity. That being said it really is a daily focus for me. I mean I don’t give God my “left over” time. I deliberately make time. I like early in the morning. After all “seek ye first the Kingdom” and all. That helps me get the right attitude and motivation before I have to deal with the world as it presents itself that day.
Now about children – the really young ones. I liken new born babies’ heart’s to that of a white dry eraser board. When they are born their little hearts are clean and pure. Immediately everyone around that infant begins to write on their little hearts. And I do mean immediately. For instance, what if the nurses in the hospital nursery have had a bad day and they are fighting with their spouse. They may be talking about their problems with their fellow nurses, thereby exposing those pure little hearts to unnecessary trash. I know, I know that may seem unlikely and even extreme… but that’s what I believe and I don’t think completely unrealistic.
Babies are like human sponges. They absorb everything. They can’t help it that’s the way they learn. Listening, looking and being imprinted upon by everything around them. The sounds, talk, music, television, everything becomes part of them… like it or not.
So what is our job as the mommy or daddy. First and foremost… protection , of course. When we parents decide to bring our baby into this world we give up our rights for the next eighteen to twenty years. Period. We no longer come first. Every single decision we make should be based on what is absolutely BEST for our child. I did say BEST not what is good. Lots of things could be good but only one thing is BEST! In a perfect world we all would do that every time without exception. But alas none of us are perfect and after all since we are all humans we still have the propensity towards being a bit selfish.
Under the “law of baby protection” I think we first must be aware of what our child is exopsed to and keep the negative stuff to a minimum. C’mon you stay at home moms, turn off the dang Soap Operas!
Let me say something to the daddies now. I’ve read my share of business books, been to the seminars by all the big named motivational speakers and so on. Just imagine this… seriously, imagine this. You are very old and terminally ill. Can’t you see yourself all wrinkly and kinda hunched over in a chair.. not moving so good. What do you think you will be thinking at that moment? Do you think you will be thinking about that deal you almost made? Do you think you will be thinking about the mega bucks and nice cars you used to drive? Not likely. Most likely you will be thinking about your children… your grandchildren… if you could just have your youth back you would do some things differently. If you could just be a bit healthier now…. Oh, wouldn’t it be great to be able to spend some one on one time with each of them too let them know how important they are to you, how proud you are. But it’s too late. It was more important for you to take that job that kept you on the road most of the time. You made your kids settle for phone calls, emails and text messages. You were telling yourself all the time that you were working so hard for the family. After all who’s going to pay for the nice house and both of the cars? Right, that’s what’s really important. The nice house and both cars. You can’t honestly think that… do you?
Granted, we all need a place to lay our heads and transportation is a must in today’s society. But daddies don’t sacrifice being with their family for the sake of their career. Fathers do. In my opinion there is a big difference between a daddy and a father. Daddies are the ones that are there day in and day out. Daddies play an active role in nurturing their children. That’s right I said NURTURING ! Daddies teach their kids that it’s okay to make mistakes… if you learn from them. Daddies especially admit to their kids that “Daddy screwed up, I am so sorry. I will do my best to make sure that I never do that again.” Daddies teach, fathers preach.
Fathers aren’t around much and since they aren’t around much they feel the guilt inside and try to make up for lost time when they are home. Consequently (unconciously) they find themselves doing one of two things. Either being overly permissive (that’s rare unless we are talking about a divorced father). But more likely they are heavy handed with the discipline. After all the father has to show the mommy that he loves her by really “taking care of things” when he is home. What a jerk fathers are.
Ladies, girls, mommies, let me ask you this. How many daddies did you see at that last child’s birthday party? I can’t tell you how many times I was the only daddy at these parties… even when it wasn’t my kids party! I have noticed, however, since we have our “new kids” that I do see one or two more daddies at thes functions. But still it’s like eighty percent moms. You know, Saturday morning the fathers have more important things to do. The grass really needs to be cut and after all when was the last time they went golfing with the guys? He’ll try to be home about the same time you guys get back from the party… take your time.
Where in the world have all the daddies gone?!