Maybe I’m delusional but…


Maybe I’m delusional but I think we’ve jumped through all the hoops.  Today we attended our last “Parenting Class”.  Yesterday the lady who was doing our “Home Study” called to say that she had completed the report and had dropped it off at the DSS Adoption Office.

The thing that annoyed me most about the “Home Study” is that they needed to speak with my grief counselor.  She said that her supervisor thought that being in grief counseling for nearly two years was a bit much.  They just need to speak with my counselor to make sure that I’m not a danger to myself or 0thers.  I can certainly understand why there would be a concern but give me a friggn break.  We’ve had the kids for 34 months now! 

Our “Parenting Class” was a bit enlightening too.  When we went around the table introducing ourselves and saying why we are there it was a bit heart warming.  People saying how much they love children and want to help needy, abused or abandoned children…  Awwww.

However, it wasn’t long before most of the people showed their true colors.  They want to help the needy, abused or abandoned children as long as those same children fit nicely into the mold they had predetermined.  A certain race with no emotional, psychological or physical disabilities.  I wonder if it was as clear to others as it was to me.  Most of those people were there for what those children could do for them!   They want a large family.  They can’t have children.  They want little Johnny or Susie to have a little brother or sister.  It was like they thought DSS is like a human pet store.  You know, where you can go down and place your order or look at pictures and pick out the cute little one you want to take home to make  your life complete.  Honestly, it kinda ticked me off just a bit.

What makes these people different from the biological parents?  Except for the fact that those at the “Parenting Class” were not the ones who physically abused, neglected, etc. the children there wasn’t a bit of difference.  Their attitudes were the same; expecting children to be what their idea of perfect little people should be.  Unbelievable.

Today we were handed a sheet of paper that listed the statistics of children available for adoption in the entire state.  Heartbreaking.  I also learned that caucasion children over the age of ten, black children over the age of six and children with siblings are all considered “special needs.”  They consider these children “special needs” because they are the most difficult to place into adoptive homes. 

I can’t believe that we are considering becoming Foster Parents now!  Heck, maybe even adopting more children has not been ruled out.  If we didn’t have to deal with DSS on a regular basis it would be a no brain-er.  I’ll bet if you give us a few months to get over the trauma of dealing with such a dysfunctional agency we’ll be right back in there wanting to know what needs we can help with.


4 Responses to Maybe I’m delusional but…

  1. Joy says:

    The “human pet store” thing really saddens me. Isn’t it horrible that someone would think of a child that way?? Your heart is really big. Kind of like the grinch at the end of the story where his heart gets larger and larger.

    Your almost there. You can think about all this other stuff later. Do you think you’d be able to take foster kids in and then give them back? I’m not sure I could do that. That’s why I never looked into it. I get way to attached.

    mssc54 replied:

    Joy: Giving children a home in Foster Care and then having to “give them up” would be very difficult. Imagine if you can being the Foster child and being moved from home to home. Most often the children just leave from place to place with the clothes on their back. It’s much like a death to them as well. Foster parents have to remember that they are “Fostering” for the children and be willing to sacrifice their own feelings. You are correct, it can be very difficult on everyone. 😦

  2. Joy says:

    I can’t even imagine how hard it is for those kids. I like the “fostering FOR the kids.” Very well put.

  3. “is that they needed to speak with my grief counselor”


    So violating someone’s confidentiality because YOU can’t evaluate them is ok? So not cool.

    mssc replied:

    Hayden: No, no, no. The lady who did our Home Study said that she saw how we were with the kids and how we all interacte and all. Her supervisor said she would have to speak with my grief counselor before she would sign off on it.

    I am so ready to be done with these people.

  4. phillysoul11 says:

    So many kids with so many needs, Christians need to start displaying God’s love by loving all the children who are so desperate for something and someone to believe in.

    mssc54 replied:

    Phillysoul11: Hey welcome back man! I agree. Christians rale against abortion yet revel in their free time and retirement.

    I wonder why it is that “vacation” and “retirement” are not find in Holy Scripture? Heck, Moses didn’t have a single day off for forty years!

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