Adoption Update

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Well, we’ve been “handed off” to the Adoption “arm” of Social Services.  I understand that this is the final stage of the adoption process.  However, “stage” is some what of a misleading term.  We have been told that it should take only another one-hundred eighty days to complete this process.

Tomorrow morning I have to take the kids to see a psychologist.  I think this is part of the fact gathering process.  Since we are adopting them from the State we will eventually negotiate a monthly stipend for each child.  It was a bit amusing (a couple of months ago) when the first adoption lady came for the initial home visit.  She took pictures of the children’s rooms, the kids our home, etc..  Then she tells us a bit about the process (they make it all sound so easy, haha).  She says to us, “Now understand, that this will be a negotiation and we will begin at $0.00.”  So I replied, “Well, I understand that this will be a negotiation and we will start at $1 million per child per month”.  She laughed, we laughed.  Then without thinking what she was saying says, “Well, that seems a bit high maybe we could meet in the middle somewhere.”  GREAT!!  I said.  Deal.  All of us laughing. hahaha

Then she lets us know that the fire department will come by to do an inspection and that we have to have a written escape plan. (you know, like the ones on the back of the doors in hotels).  She also lets us know that the Department of Health and Environmental Control will come by.

So I went down to the Fire Chief’s office and met with the guy to find out what they will be looking for.  Smoke alarms in each child’s room and a fire extinguisher mounted on the wall (both up stairs and down stairs).  No smoke alarms required in our room (we can burn to death).  So we’ve gotten that done.

I also went by DEHEC and found out that we need to have those safety plugs in the electrical receptacles and safety latches on the cabinets where the cleaning supplies are stored.  Also have all medications locked up.

We’ve gotten all that done.  But the funny thing is,  we keep our down stairs flashlight in the cabinet that is “safety locked”.  We asked little Porter to get it for us the other night, so he goes in and unlocks the cabinet and gets the flash light and brings it to us.

I’m thinking, “What kind of parent has to lock their cabinets with a four and six year old?  And what kind of four or six year old sticks their finger in electrical sockets?!”  I figure if they are that old and are doing that kind of stuff then maybe Darwin was on to something.

So we continue to jump through the hoops.  I won’t say we are happy to do it but we will do whatever is necessary to get through this grueling process.

But please understand, we also understand that (typically) agencies like this are understaffed and over worked.  They see some pretty terrible things.  We understand that they are really just looking at boxes on a sheet of paper and making sure that when their boxes are checked off they pass it on to the next desk so they can get their boxes checked off.  I think you have to have a desire to help children and families to stay in a job like that.

Maybe by next school year we can all have the same last names… instead of having three different last names!

Sigh.  Pray for us and this ongoing process.

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UPDATE TO THE UPDATE

This morning I took Lindsay and Porter for their psych evaluation
(jumping through more hoops).  They were each in with the Dr. for a little
over an hour.

When he finished up he came out and told me that this is a “no brainer.”  He
also said that both kids are very intelligent (pointing at Porter he says)
this one is exceptionally intelligent.  “They may end up moving him ahead in school.”

On the way home we stopped at ChickFilet to grab a quick lunch before
bringing Lindsay to school.  There was a police car in the drive-through
line.  So my exceptionally intelligent son asks me, “Dad, did he come here
for a doughnut?” ROFL

Just another day in the life of parenting. lol

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9 Responses to Adoption Update

  1. Enola says:

    Cute kids. Are they related to each other?

    mssc54 replied:

    Enola: Yes they are. Here’s an earlier post that you (in particular) may find interesting.

    https://mssc54.wordpress.com/2008/08/01/family-court/

  2. DM says:

    that’s pretty insightful of you to check with the powers that be, before their inspection…one of the great things about living in smaller communities.

    mssc54 replied:

    DM: Thanks, I’ve found (with government agencies especially) if you can get out front of them it makes a good impression and (in this case) should save extra trips. 😉

  3. Joni says:

    Gorgeous! What a “process” to have to go through. I remember when Maddie opened her own childproof medicine bottle and how pleased she was. I thought she was rather clever. She did of course wait for me to give her the right dose. We never put safety locks on our cabinets. Haven’t had the need for it. The really killer cleaners are in a secured location but we’ve just told the kids if they touch any of it and then put fingers in their mouths, it’ll make them very sick or kill them. Enough said. They don’t want to die!

    mssc54 replied:

    Joni: I think most of this gets down to proper parenting.

    Over the years that we’ve had these children we have often heard how “awesome” we are or how “easy” handling our case is. I mean, I understand what they are saying. They are saying that compared to most all the rest of their cases/families we look soooo wonderful. Heck I think we are just an average family doing what families are supposed to do.

    I asked and there are NINE children up for adoption in the district we live in. 😦

  4. How CUTE!

    I think the fire extinguishers are a great idea. When Chris and I got our home, the home insurance people asked if we had any fire extinguishers. (We’d get a deduction for having one.) How is a fire extinguisher optional?? They’re like $20!

    Er, what I meant was, YAY! and congratulations! One step down.

    mssc54 replied:

    Hayden: Thank you. I can certainly understand why some people are not willing to go through the vetting process.

    But the children don’t deserve the “hand they were dealt!”

  5. Mrs. C says:

    It’s crazy how any fool can give birth. But to adopt, you have to jump through hoops. Good luck and prayers.

    mssc54 replied:

    Mrs. C: It’s like I’ve said so many times before… puppies and kittens seem to be much easier to place than abused/neglected children.

  6. Joy says:

    I also agree it was very smart of you to get the jump on things in order to have them done ahead of time. I know this seems crazy but just keep jumping, it’s almost over. RIGHT??!!??!! Your doing a wonderful thing.

    mssc54 replied:

    Joy: Almost over?! Ummm, you mean in dog years? lol

    No matter, we’re in it for life!

  7. SanityFound says:

    Luck and prayers, all I know is that those two kids are two of the luckiest in the whole wide world!

    mssc54 replied:

    SanityFound: The luck is all around here! 😉

  8. Amber says:

    Those are the most beautiful faces. I wish I could give you all hugs right now. Ill say prayers for you.

    mssc54 replied:

    Amber: They are awefully cute aren’t they? Awww, we all love hugs. Thanks! 🙂

  9. psychscribe says:

    What I can’t get over, and never will, is the diligence around things like electrical sockets and where you store your cleaning supplies, yet things like abuse and neglect in the original home are overlooked, minimized, and given a million more chances to wound the kids again….sigh…I have just said a prayer for you…

    mssc54 replied:

    Psychscribe: You make a very good point! I think I see another post herel 😉

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