I was asked by one of my readers about our “new kids”. I wrote a little bit about them here: https://mssc54.wordpress.com/2008/08/05/older-parenting/
I think I will start at the beginning.
In 2002 we received a call from our pastor informing us that he knew of a single man who was raising a 4 month old infant girl on his own. He was wondering that, since my Mrs. was out of school for the summer, would we consider helping him out with the baby during the summer.
We discussed it, talked to our bio-daughters and decided that this is something we were supposed to do. So we would go and pick her up about 6:15 am and bring her back about the same time in the evening. At times we would keep her at night and on weekends. We wanted to spend more time with the baby and too also give the dad a break.
Over time we learned that the reason dad had the infant on his own is because whem the mom was pregnant she got drunk, ran over a pedestrian, killed him and was subsequently convicted of Vehicular Homicide. The baby was born in prison, taken immediately from the mom and given to the dad.
We have a few pics of the baby with us during that summer. That would later come to be a very good thing.
Well after only two years mom gets out of prison. Mom and dad get back together and seemed to get their act together. When the baby is just over two years old mom has a little boy. Guess what. He’s born addicted to drugs!
But since they are just little human beings it’s not that big of a deal so the Social Workers send the baby home with the loving and caring couple. Oh! Did I forget to mention that dad has already admitted to having a cocain problem? He was the one assigned to supervise the mom.
Now I steadfastedly contend that if this infant was a puppy or a kitten he would have been immediately removed from that family.
Mom and dad are both ordered into a monthly drug testing program. I still don’t understand how having a baby born addicted to drugs did not land the mother back in prison.
Dad was real ticked off when the baby boy was born addicted. After all he had (practically) single handedly cared for their little girl all by his lonesome for two years. So, anyway, he has this attitude and anger problem and begins to slap mom around. He is subsequently kicked out of the house and not allowed to be around the children.
I’ll skip a bunch of stuff related to both parents inability to pass a drug test or anger managment class.
Two years after the boy is born mom admits to driving around town DRUNK with both kids in the car.
Time for the big meeting with the Social worker, grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle. Now in the family’s defense these parents have been given pretty much every oppertunity to get their act together. They (mom/dad) have said over and over again that “this is the last time” and they will get it together. But they didn’t. So at this point the immediate family is just worn out with all of it. So the big meeting is to determine where the two year old boy and four year old girl will go. Aunt/uncle say they can only take the boy for two weeks. Grandma says they can’t take them at all… either put them in Foster Care or put them in the orphanage.
Can you believe t hat? Holding the children accoutable for the actions of their parents?!
That’s when both parents ask the social worker to see if we will care for the children before putting them into the system.
So here we are now in January of 2009 and we have finally been given joint custody with the Department of Social Services. If things go as they have been for the last 32 months we should be finished with the adoption process in another six months.
But who really knows how much longer it will take.
I’ve already been the oldest daddy on a couple of field trips. I hate those dang PTA meetings. I will be 68 years old when our boy graduates from high school.
We love it!
Post Script: Our family is just doing what we know how to do. We are just like other families. Nobody special. I’m sure if most people were put in the situation we were put in they would do the same thing. It’s just life, what else are you going to do with it? Besides, I don’t see the terms “vacation” or “retirement” anywhere in my Bible. 🙂