Sunday was a bitter sweet celebration for us. Little Cooper turned two years old. On the one hand it’s difficult to believe that it’s been two years since his birth… and also twenty-one months since his daddy while serving as an Army Combat Medic was killed by that Taliban Sniper.
Early on in our “journey” things were dark and difficult. Grief is a very strange thing. This grief is completely different from any other I have experienced.
You see, most people don’t know that Buddy never met his father… not once. He was so determined to be the daddy to little Cooper that he never had. We are so glad that he was home for two weeks leave when baby Cooper was born. Those two weeks are precious to all of us. Buddy was kinda selfish with his little son. It was difficult for most anyone else to get some “face time” with new born Cooper. Buddy was feeding him, changing his diapers, getting up in the night (letting his bride rest) all of it. One of my favorite pictures is of Buddy burping Cooper with an empty baby bottle on the coffee table in the foreground.
Initially, I was comsumed with hatred for “those Muslims terrorists”. Honestly I allowed myself to fall in to that trap of hating all Muslims.
I won’t go so far as to say that I am probably like “most” people but I’m probably like a lot of people. I have to be on guard not to lump all people of a certain “group” (be it religious, race, ect.) into the same steriotypicle thought process.
Not all Muslims have hijacked their faith into a violant blood thirsty belief. Not all whites have the loathsum beliefs as the skin-heads or the KKK. Not all black men are drug abusing, gun toting thugs.
However, I will admit, I do still have to purposely… intentionally have to check my motive when I interact with these groups of individuals. The problem I have is knowing where to draw the line on my and my family’s safety and being so tolerant and accepting that I put my family at risk.
In the end I have to rely on one thing. Believe it or not I have to trust in my relationship with the Trinity. As I “seek ye first the Kingdom of God” I MUST BELIEVE AND TRUST THAT HE IS FAITHFUL TOO NEVER LEAVE ME NOR FORSAKE ME!!
I can hear the thoughts of some of you. Asking, “How can you say that when your God allowed your SIL, your twenty-three year old daughter’s husband, your three month old grandson’s daddy get killed.”
Admittedly, initially, this question has been very difficult for me to wrap my mind around. It didn’t happen over night (or even a few weeks) but eventually I was “awakened” to the fact that God is God and man is man. Man is inherently corrupt and violant in nature. God is merciful, loving and all knowing.
God knew Buddy was going to be killed. God knew that Alexis was going to be widowed at the age of twenty-three and left to raise their baby as a single mom. God knew that baby Cooper was not going to have his biological daddy to raise him.
God also knew wha a remarkable family we are. He knew that inspite of this tragic event we would look beyond the grief, that we would (ultimately) look to Him for our comfort and guidance. God knew that this would draw us even closer, that this would force us to acknowledge the inner strength we each have and what amazing love and strenght we have as a family. God knew that Alexis and little Cooper would buy a house in the same neighborhood as we live in. God knew that we would be able to “input” into Cooper’s life regularly.
God knew what tremendous heart ache, pain, anguish and yes even doubt this would bring into our lives. However, He also knew when we (eventually) came out of the fog of our individual and collective depression and grief that we would be a beacon of light for each other. But most of all our Lord knew (and stil knows) that we will rely on Him to guide us down the path of healing, health, love and acceptance.
Yes my precious little two year old grand son is without his biological father but he does have all of us but most importantly little Cooper has the most important father. His Eternal Father, the One Who created him will never leave him nor forsake him!
Be blessed in the knowledge that no matter the tragedy, no matter the heart break, no matter the challenge, none of us are alone in that for the Savior has sent to us the Helper, the Comforter.