Children – the really young ones

Although I am a guy, a husband, a daddy I have some pretty strong opinions  regarding raising children.

I know stereotypically I should be worried about my career advancement, how much money I can horde away for the future, how I look, the car I drive and so on.

But you know what I have always been a bit off on all of that.  Although I have owned my own business since 1984 I really haven’t spent a whole lot of time trying to build it to this million dollar business as some in my industry have done.  At one time I did have five or six vans on the road but oh man the head aches.

It just seems like whenever we need a “big lick” it shows up.  And I think I know why.

As I read my Bible I see some consistent themes, love one another, take care of the little ones (for  they are helpless), don’t worry about tomorrow for the flowers in the field and the birds of the air don’t, do not store up what rust and moths can destroy.  Most of all… make sure my relationship with the Trinity is first and foremost.

I will be the second to admit (I think depending on the mood my wife would be the first to admit) that, at times, I have fallen woefully short on my relationship with the Trinity.  That being said it really is a daily focus for me.  I mean I don’t give God my “left over” time.  I deliberately make time.  I like early in the morning.  After all “seek ye first the Kingdom” and all.  That helps me get the right attitude and motivation before I have to deal with the world as it presents itself that day.

Now about children – the really young ones.  I liken new born babies’ heart’s to that of a white dry eraser board.  When they are born their little hearts are clean and pure.  Immediately everyone around that infant begins to write on their little hearts.  And I do mean immediately.  For instance, what if the nurses in the hospital nursery have had a bad day and they are fighting with their spouse.  They may be talking about their problems with their fellow nurses, thereby exposing those pure little hearts to unnecessary trash.  I know, I know that may seem unlikely and even extreme… but that’s what I believe and how I feel.  So there. ha

Babies are like human sponges.  They absorb everything.  They can’t help it that’s the way they learn.  Listening, looking and being imprinted by everything around them.  The sounds, talk, music, television, everything becomes part of them… like it or not.

So what is our job as the mommy or daddy.  First and foremost… protection , of course.  When we parents decide to bring our baby into this world we give up our rights for the next eighteen to twenty years.  Period.  We no longer come first.  Every single decision we make should be based on what is absolutely BEST for our child.  I did say BEST not what is good.  Lots of things could be good but only one thing is best.  In a perfect world we all would do that every time.  But alas none of us are perfect and after all since we are all humans we still have the propensity towards being a bit selfish.

Under the “law of baby protection” I think we first must be aware of what our child is exopsed to and keep the negative stuff to a minimum.  C’mon  you stay at home moms, turn off the dang Soap Operas! 

Let me say something to the daddies now.  I’ve read my share of business books, been to the seminars by all the big named motivational speakers and so on.  Just imagine this… serious, imagine this.  You are very old and terminally ill.  Can’t you see yourself all wrinkly and kinda hunched over in a chair.. not moving so good.  What do you think you will be thinking at that moment?  Do you think you will be thinking about that deal you almost made?  Do you think you will be  thinking about the mega bucks and nice cars you used to drive?  Likely not.  Most likely you will be thinking about your children… your grandchildren… if you could just have your youth back.  If you could just be a bit healthier now.  Oh, wouldn’t it be great to be able to spend some one on one time with each of them.  But it’s too late.  It was more important for you to take that job that kept you on the road most of the time.  You made your kids settle for phone calls and emails.  You were telling yourself all the time that you were doing for the family.   After all who’s going to pay for the nice house and both of the cars?  Right, that’s what’s really important.  The nice house and both cars.  You can’t really think that… do you?

Granted, we all need a place to lay our heads and transportation is a must in today’s society.  But daddies don’t sacrifice being with their family for the sake of their career.  Fathers do.  In my opinion there is a big difference between a daddy and a father.  Daddies are the ones that are there day in and day out.  Daddies play an active role in nurturing their children.  That’s right I said NURTURING !  Daddies teach their kids that it’s okay to make mistakes… if you learn from them.  Daddies especially admit to their kids that “Daddy screwed up, I am so sorry.  I will do my best to make sure that I never do that again.”  Daddies teach, fathers preach. 

Fathers aren’t around much and since they aren’t around much they feel the guilt inside and try to make up for lost time when they are home.  Consequently (unconciously) they find themselves doing one of  two things.  Either being overly permissive (that’s rare unless we are talking about a divorced father).  But more likely they are heavy handed with the discipline.  After all the father has to show the mommy that he loves her by really taking care of things when he is home.  What a jerk fathers are.

Ladies, girls, mommies, let me ask you this.  How many daddies did you see at that last child’s birthday party?  I can’t tell you how many times I was the only daddy at these parties… even when it wasn’t my kids party!  I have noticed, however, since we have our “new kids” that I do see one or two more daddies at thes functions.  But still it’s like eighty percent moms.  You know, Saturday morning the fathers have more important things to do.  The grass really needs to be cut and after all when was the last time they went golfing with the guys?  He’ll try to be home about the same time you guys get back from the party… take your time.

Where in the world have all the daddies gone?!

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12 Responses to Children – the really young ones

  1. BlueFakes says:

    I’m glad that people are worrying more about children and less about money and career advancement.

  2. I totally agree that emotional abuse is just as valid as physical abuse. I wish more people understood that.

  3. Joy says:

    Wow, excellent post today. Really made me think about things.

    Did you get my email about the scrapbooks? I’m going to work on a few pages for you today but need to know if that’s the email you check. My email is joyerickson@meltel.net Could you please let me know where to send you the pages?

  4. bereanwife says:

    This is a really great post. Mothers and Daddies do not give enough thought into what they expose their children to. My children since they have been homeschooled and do not watch TV do not have the baggage that I had as a child. They struggle less with the world than I did.

    However, I must disagree with “When they are born their little hearts are clean and pure.” We are all born in sin and sin fills our hearts from day one. We do not have to teach children to sin, it comes naturally from their hearts.

    Ps 51:5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. KJV

    Ps 51:5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. NIV

    So when we raise our children we must not only limit their exposure to sin but we must also deal with the sin in their hearts from day one.

    Berean Wife

  5. mssc54 says:

    BlueFakes; thanks for stopping by!

    Hayden; I have had numerous broken bones and surgeries in my life. The things I remember most are those “events” with my father that I blogged about in “My Angel Story.” 😦

    Joy; Doggone it don’t sound so surprised that I made a good post. lol

    Thanks too for your help with the scrapbook stuff for Buddy!

    bereanwife; Thank you for stopping by and contributing!

    Interesting that your Theology is based out of the OT.

    What if I were to say that I disagree with you on being born in sin based on (some) NT Scripture.

    Col 1:14In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins:

    Col 1:20And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven.

    Eph 1: 3Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:

    4According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

    5Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,

    6To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

    7In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;

    8Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence;

    9Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself:

    10That in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him:

    11In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:

    12That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ.

    13In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,

    14Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.

    Eph 2: 14For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us;

    15Having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace;

    16And that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby:

    17And came and preached peace to you which were afar off, and to them that were nigh.

    18For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father.

    19Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God;

    20And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone;

    21In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord:

    22In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit.

    So one could rightly say that based on these Scriptures that Jesus the Christ’s atonement on the cross paid for ALL OF OUR SINS.

    I’m pretty sure all means all. At least that is my current understanding.

    Thanks again for your comment. 🙂

  6. marlajayne says:

    Loved reading this. I sincerely feel that parenting is the most important, most demanding job that a person can ever perform. It’s also the one with the most far reaching consequences and probably the least amount of praise.That said, I also think that no amount of success or acheivement outside of the home can compensate for failure within it.

  7. mssc54 says:

    marlajayne; “I also think that no amount of success or acheivement outside of the home can compensate for failure within it.”

    Wow that is a pretty profound observation.

    Thanks so much for visiting and commenting!

  8. bereanwife says:

    Mssc54,
    I am sorry that you disagree with me. I just came to your site through The Desert Pastor’s. I would have avoided leaving a comment if I had realized how differently you view the Scriptures. I have no intention to be argumentative. There was no “spanking” intended and you may delete this if you desire. But since you asked:”What if I were to say that I disagree with you on being born in sin based on (some) NT Scripture.”
    First of all I would say that we cannot throw out the Old Testament because Jesus quoted the Old Testament so many times. You cannot ignore the Old (law and prophets) in favor of the New.
    Matt 5:17-20
    17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. 19 Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. NIV
    The New Testament has anywhere from 600 direct Old Testament quotes to 4,000 references to the Old Testament. In Timothy, Paul encourages Timothy in his knowledge of the Holy Scriptures, being able to make him wise and lead to Salvation. What Scriptures? The New was still being written and Timothy could not have learned them from his youth so this is referring to the Old Testament.
    2 Tim 3:14-16
    14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15 and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. NIV
    The gospel is portrayed throughout the Old Testament not just in the New.

    But to answer your question using just the New Testament.There is no problem with your verses but they point out that the elect have had their sins redeemed by the blood of Christ. This doesn’t negate the fact that we are sinful from birth.

    Rom 4:6-8
    6 David says the same thing when he speaks of the blessedness of the man to whom God credits righteousness apart from works:
    7 “Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. 8 Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him.” NIV

    Which is a quote from the Old Testament, Psalms 32:1-2. Not having sin imputed unto us does not change the fact that we sin from birth continually.

    Gal 3:22-28
    22 But the Scripture declares that the whole world is a prisoner of sin, so that what was promised, being given through faith in Jesus Christ, might be given to those who believe.
    23 Before this faith came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed. 24 So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. 25 Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.
    26 You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.
    NIV
    When we have faith and are baptized we are given the righteousness of Christ.
    1 John 1:8-10
    8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. NIV

    Rom 3:10-12

    10″There is no one righteous, not even one; 11 there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. 12 All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” NIV
    There is no exception given for babies.“Infants die, therefore they are not innocentDeath–both physical and spiritual–is a result of sin (Romans 5:12; 6:23). Thus, death only comes upon those who have sinned. Since infants die, they therefore must be sinners. It could be objected that Christ was sinless, and yet He died. But He willingly gave up His life, and He did it to conquer the curse of death that we were under. In fact, God imputed to Christ our sins on the cross, and Christ died in punishment of those sins.” John PiperThis video at Def.Con. might help.Berean Wife

  9. bereanwife says:

    Please excuse the spacing issues I copied it from my WordPress to yours and obviously it didn’t work well.

    Berean Wife

  10. Des says:

    Great discussion! My take is this. I don’t believe that infants are sinful at birth. If someone is “born into a hospital”, that doesn’t mean they are a nurse. Born into sin, means being born into a sinful world. I agree that every abortion will be in heaven; is that the great multitude that Revelation talks about?

    I also believe that there comes an age of accountability in a person’s life where he has to make a choice to follow God or not. The Jews “and me” believed that it was around the age of 12. Look at the life of Jesus at that age where he was “left behind” talking with the temple priests.

    Baptism is like a marriage ceremony. It isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on unless there’s a covenant commitment involved. So many times I’ve seen kids do this only under peer pressure. Don’t get me started on infant baptism.

    Only to repeat, I’m SOOOO glad God is my ultimate judge; and my kidseses too.

  11. […] Children – the really young ones probably haven’t a clue as to how special the 80s? (or at least the videos?) are.  Well I am going to “throw my toys” “just now” because I so prefer the 90’s… does that show my age? Careful how you answer that one!!! […]

  12. mssc54 says:

    Des; lol “Don’t get me started on infant baptism.”

    How many adults who were baptised as infants do you think even know who their “God-father and God-mother” is? Much less have a relationship with them!

    Infant babtism is something that man’s doctrine came up with to give the adults the warm fuzzies. Plus it gives mom a chance to dress up the baby when he/she is really small. Probably the first “dress up party”. lol No spiritual benefit what so ever.

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