ADOPTION FINALIZED!!!

That was almost fun!  The judge asked the Mrs. which child she wanted to sit
in her lap as she testified so our daughter went up with her.  Now here is our son 
(5 years old) and me sitting at that big table.  He reaches up and grabs the
mic’ and bends it down to his mouth and began answering the questions with
the Mrs.  I thought the judge was going to bust out laughing!  He was
grinning from ear to ear as he motioned for me to let our son be, that it was
okay.  It was hilarious!

Then when our son and I went up to testify, OMG!  The boy has somehow gotten
my DNA ’cause he hasn’t a shy bone in his body.  He answered a few questions
with me.   ”Yes sir.”  Then when the judge asked him who his mommy was he
smiled real big and pointed to the Mrs. and then when asked who his daddy was
he smiled real big , turned in my lap and pointed at me.  Finally the judge
thanked him for “testifying” and our son leans into the mic’ and says, “You’re
welcome.”   What a hoot!

We didn’t get into the court room until about eleven and the judge actually
thanked us for bringing some happiness into his courtroom.

Some may think that after over forty-two months of working through this process that this is a “happy ending”  but in all actuality it is truly a happy beginning!”

Major Nidal Malik Hassan

My father was a WW II veteran who served in the European theater.  He
carried shrapnel in his back from a grenade ’till the day he was buried (ten
years ago).

I am a seven year veteran of the US Navy with a 40% service connected
disability.

Our son-in-law (Sgt Buddy James Hughie) was KIA by a Taliban sniper in
Afghanistan.  Buddy was awarded two Bronze Star medals with Valor and a
Purple Heart medal. In fact after Buddy’s death there was a FOB established
in the area where he was killed and named in his honor, “FOB HUGHIE.”

We currently have a twenty-three year old nephew serving with the 114th MPs
in Mosul, Iraq.

Major Hassan (an army officer serving on active duty) takes the time to pick
out his weapon, fills out the necessary paper work, goes back and purchases
the fire arm, adds a scope to increase his chances of kill shots, goes to a
firing range to make sure he can operate his killing weapon proficiently,
chooses a place where military men and women are massed together, picks a
time of day when those service members will be gathered waiting, gets
dressed in traditional Muslim attire, loads his killing weapon in his
vehicle, drives to his chosen killing field, gets out and begins killing
UNARMED American service men and women while shouting terms associated with
Muslim Extremist Terrorists.

So other than Major Hassan’s US Army officer active duty status what sets
him apart from other terrorists?

Our family has sacrificed a great deal for our country.  Our family will
continue to sacrifice, serve and defend the Constitution of the United
States of America.

Please do not spit in our face and tell us you are giving us a bath.  We
know the difference.

VETERANS DAY 2009

Today is the official day to recognise the individuals who have served the USA by putting on military uniforms and (in most cases) going into harms way to preserve and defend our way of life.

As a child I remember looking at the pictures of my dad in his army uniform.  My dad served in the European Theater during WWII.  While driving a jeep one day a grenade exploded behind his seat.  Dad carried shrapnel in his back for the rest of his life.  Understandably he always had back issues.

One thing I think most people don’t realize is that during WWII Uncle Sam gave free cartons of cigarettes to those men and women in uniform.  I guess they figured they needed something to help calm their nerves.  I suppose that there are a number of those same veterans who got hooked on the nicotine who later died on the battle field of lung cancer.  But that is complete conjecture on my part.  True and correct but conjecture none-the-less.

Myself, I served seven years in the US Navy.  I was mostly in the aviation wing of the Navy and made three cruises aboard the USS John F. Kennedy (9, 11 & 13 months).  There’s something unique about sailing the Medeteranian Ocean with five thousand of your “closest friends.”

I saw lots of jets crash (on deck, in the ocean, into the arresting nets).  I saw a few guys get killed because they were careless.  The flight deck of an aircraft carrier is not the place to be careless… it is a very unforgiving environment.

I can still remember all the countries we visited (Spain, Italy, Greece, France, Scotland, Jamaica, Cuba and Crete).  Scotland was my favorite because I could understand the language and I remember it was sooooo green too!  France was my favorite because of the beaches (hey, I was young and stupid then).

I’ve been thinking about Buddy and Alexis and little Cooper a good bit lately.  Cooper will be three years old in a little over a week.  He was only three months old when Buddy was killed by that Taliban sniper.  If you haven’t read about him here are some links: http://mssc54.wordpress.com/buddy/  Buddy was truly a remarkable young man and would have been the best daddy.  If you want a glimpse of what (some) families go through when those two green uniforms walk up to their front door I have written about our journey here: http://mssc54.wordpress.com/our-american-hero/ .  Without question the most difficult experience(s) my family has ever experienced.

My family is not special, in the sense that we are the only ones who have experienced such sudden and profound grief.  There have been hundreds of thousands of families just like ours.  Sadly there will, undoubtedly, be thousands more.

Sometimes I think about Buddy and the joys he must be experiencing in his eternal home.  On an eternal scale I think that Buddy and those (who believe in the Savior) are the ones who kind of “made out” the best.  They (in their eternal home) no longer have to deal with this fallen world.

Just think, there are Veterans right this second who are dealing with profound injuries and the constant struggle those injuries bring in day to day life.  However, we should  not only think about those Veterans, but think too of their spouses, children, moms, dads, friends and relatives.  Every one of their lives have  beenchanged too… forever.  What would our life be like should we have to be the primary care giver to a profoundly disabled loved one?  God bless and strengthen each one of them.

I encourage you, my fellow citizens, seek out your local Veterans.  Really, intentionally seek them out shake their hands, ask them if you can visit with them for a few minutes.  Sit with them and listen to the stories of their lives.  Contact the “nursing homes” in your area and ask them if they have any Veteran residents.  Forge a relationship with them.  Would it be so difficult for each of us to sacrifice thirty minutes of our time once a month for such a noble cause?  Bring your children and teach them what it means to go outside their comfort zones.  Teach your children to serve those who have served and sacrificed.

There is one thing that I very often wonder about.  I see those yellow magnetic “ribbons” on automobiles that say “Support our troops” or something like that.  I wonder what that means to the person behind the wheel of that vehicle.

So I have a couple of questions if you will indulge me, please.

1.  What does it mean to you to support our troops?

2.  How many of your family members have served in uniform and which branch?

3.  Would you like to share their story with us?

In closing I would like to say THANK YOU to all of our service men and women.  And may the Lord, God Almighty not only bless the United States of America but may He bless the multitudes of the world.

Thank you for visiting my ramblings.

M

Animal Rights Activists

 

 

I have (somewhat) recently reconnected with a very close friend from highschool.  In fact we dated… well as much as two kids in the ninth grade could date in 1970-71.   As we began to catch-up via Facebook, emails and phone I became quite surprised at where life has taken her.

The Readers Digest version is that her passion is being an Animal Rights Activist (ARA).  She is also a vegan.  I’ve never know an ARA before and to be honest my thoughts about “those people” have been pretty negative.  After all my total knowledge of ARAs and their intentions consisted of sound-bites and the typical things you see in news reports.  Of course, if you think about it, news organizations usually try to find the nuttiest person in any given group and portray them as the norm of that group.

I have had occasion to interact (via the internet) with some of her co-hearts and pretty much without exception they have been pretty hard-core, rude and vile.  Their interactions  with me left me with the feeling, “wow, if you want someone to see your point of view you sure need to change the way you approach us “non-believers.”"  Honestly, if it were not for the relationship I have with my friend and the way she has approached me with this issue I would not even consider changing my views much less consider at least considering changing my diet to exclude eating things with a face.  I have cut back on my meat intake and am still trying to muster the courage and planning skills to institute a ‘NO MEAT MONDAYS” in our home.

I do know that there are some companies who treat their animals as just a means to putting more money in their bank accounts.  I do know that some animals are ill-treated and abused.  But I must admit that I still think that while animals should NOT be abused it’s still okay to eat meat.

Then there is the other side to the Animal Rights movement.  Pet stores that use puppy mills.  I just can’t stand that.  Heck, if there were a protest here I would even consider going out to show support or even join in the protest.  However, my life is such that I wouldn’t make the time it would take to organize and lead such a protest.

I’m certain at this point that I haven’t adequately stated the case for my Animal Rights Activist friend.  That was not the intent of this Blog post.  I just wanted to get you thinking and ask a few basic questions.
So here’s my question.  What are your thoughts and feelings toward Animal Rights Activists?  Do you eat meat?   Do you wear leather products, etc.?  Would you be willing to at least consider adopting a lifestyle of at least one day a week with no meat in your diet?

Why go international when you can stay local?

I’ve been wondering lately…  In many cases adoptive parents will spend tens of thousands of dollars to adopt a child from a foreign country.  Now don’t get me wrong I believe that every single child deserves a home where they can be loved and cared for.  What I don’t get is why people will go to such effort to (basically) purchase their child from a foreign government.

If you are a regular reader of this blog then you know that our family is in the final throes of completing the adoption of “our” five year old son and seven year old daughter.  They are biological brother and sister.  I won’t go into the sordid story as too how this all happened.  If you don’t know and want to know you can look back through previous posts.

Here’s one thing I learned while attending our Parenting Class at the local Department of Social Services.  Most people want to adopt an infant child who is perfect in every way (not even the hint of  a single defect).  No physical, psychological or emotional problems.  Well guess what, not even birth parents are guaranteed that!  So why is it that some perspective adoptive parents have this fantasy of a “perfect” infant child?  I know, I know, it’s only human nature to want only the best for your child and family.  Our family are no different in that regard.  With the pregnancy of each of our birth children we dreamt and prayed for a healthy baby.  We have been blessed that the Creator’s plan for us was to honor our prayers.

Perhaps in a later Blog post I will address why it is that the vast majority of people view the perfect infant child as one who has no physical defects and by all scientific terms falls into the proper percentile of the various fields of measurement.

But to get back on topic;  We know first hand how difficult it can be to adopt a child from The State.  God knows it can be exasperating, pre=”">aggrevating, annoying and will just plain ol tick you off at times.  However, it is important to keep the end goal in mind.  We are not doing this for our benefit!  I think that is where the biggest difference lyes.  Some perspective adoptive parents plan to adopt a child for what the child can do for them.  I think that attitude or expectation perverts the relationship from the git-go.  Instead of wanting to provide a nurturing, loving environment for a child in need they want a child for what the child can fulfill for them!!  That is a pretty heavy load to place on a child who, for all intense and purposes, has already had too much trauma in their little life.

One of the exercises we (as a group) had to do during our Parenting Class was;  each couple or individual was given a card.  On this card was the name of a child or siblings, which included their first name and a brief (true) history of the environment they came from.  Also listed were any “issues” the child/children had demonstrated (playing with matches, acting out sexually, aggressive behavior, et .).  Then we went around the table and stated why or why not we would adopt this particular child.   How would we handle the various “issues” each child had.  I was saddened and shocked to find that about 90 percent of the people said they would not adopt a child who had “issues”.  Now keep in mind that each of these people had previously said they wanted to adopt because they love children and want to give them a loving and nurturing home.   LIARS!  I mean, excuse me!?  You mean you want a perfect little child who can fulfill some void you have and one who can fulfill your fantasy of your perfect family with the white picket fence and all.  You disgust me.

So those can be some of the horrors of Adopting Local.  Now for International Adoptions.  We have not done this but have close friends who have.  They adopted three children from Russia.  All three children were under the age of eight at the time of adoption.  They ended up with a “buy two and get the third free” package.  They spent over forty thousand dollars (cash money).  Then of course they had to bring with them anything the child would need.  They get the child (basically) naked.   This particular International Adoption story began as a wonderful story book tale.  However, two of the three children eventually ended up in trouble with the law while the third still struggles to keep it all together.

I have had some people tell me that God placed on their heart to adopt internationally.  Really?  Didn’t God know that there are hundreds or perhaps thousands of needy children right in your own local community?  I wonder why God didn’t place you in that foreign country near those children.  Is it at least possible that YOU saw the need for foreign orphans THEN PRAYED FOR GOD TO BLESS WHAT YOU WANT?!  Of course, I can not see into any person’s heart.

Here are the statistics from the INTERCOUNTRY ADOPTION – Office of Children’s Issues, United States Department of State.

2000 – 18,477

2001 – 19,224

2002 – 21,378

2003 – 21,516

2004 – 22,884

2005 – 22,739

2006 – 20,679

2007 – 19,613

2008 – 17,488

Total 191,988 INTERNATIONALLY ADOPTED CHILDREN

I also found that “cash out of pocket” International Adoption can range from $11,325.00 – $20,679.00.  So using my mad math skills if I average those two sums and then multiply that by the number of adoptions for the years 2000 through 2008 I come up with THREE BILLION, SEVENTY-TWO MILLION, THREE HUNDRED FIFTY-ONE THOUSAND, NINE HUNDRED NINETY-SIX DOLLARS ($3,072,351,996)!  Wow that’s one heck-of-a-lot of money spent to help only 191,998 children.

Can you imagine (with me) what the International Community would look like if more than three billion dollars had been spent on improving the lives of ALL the children in those countries?  How life altering would that be if orphaned children in foreign countries were the benefactors of US dollars?  Instead of seeing US as people who are taking a child here and there, US could be seen as building entire communities where orphaned children could (possibly) receive the best care imaginable.  What would the future of ALL of those children look like?

Now continue to dream with me.  What would our own local communities look like of  those parents who adopted Internationally had adopted the unwanted, unloved, abused and neglected children out of their very own “back yards?”   I dare say the world would look at US in a very different light.  I further dare to say that the Creator of those little lives would look on (not only US) but each of us in a very different light.

Once again, I can not see into the human heart to determine it’s intent.  Whether the intent is to fulfill a personal (aka prideful) dream or to sacrifice their life for that of one who can not defend or provide for themself.  Adoption should be a selfless, sacrificial life style.  If you are not willing to sacrifice YOUR LIFE at least send a check to an orphanage in your local area.

There’s got to be more I can do for these children.

Our twenty year old daughter has Swine Flu!

Seriously, she does.  She doesn’t look quite this bad but she feels pretty bad.

Too make things worse she is living with our oldest daughter who is pregnant, her husband and their son… who has asthma.

So two of the most “at risk” (a pregnant woman and asthmatic child) are now at extreme risk.

Although our twenty year old daughter is quarantined to her room the other occupants decided to take a weekend trip.

It’s always something isn’t it?

I’m not broken but I am cracked.

Today I celebrate my 55th birthday.  Now that I have some age and experience under my proverbial belt I have become somewhat (more) reflective.  And with the intentional and directed reflection on my life, has come some rather painful revelations.  Guess what, I’m not perfect!  But then again I’m not broken either.

Okay, so now I’ve pin-pointed a few areas that I feel I need to work on.  Now what.  I’ve decided to ”speak” with a professional who can help direct me with some behavior modification issues.  As a matter of fact, this morning from 8-9 was my fifth appointment.    Is it easy?  NO!  Has it been painful?  Yes,at times it has.  However, most things worth pursuing are difficult and somewhat painful?  Aren’t they?  Heck even if you want to lose weight, that too involves sacrifice and pain.  How many of us have tried dieting instead of changing our life style?

So, I have determined to persue a path of life style change.  Most of the time I just say or do whatever is “right” (in my own eyes of course).  There is no “governor” between the area of my brain and my tongue, so it can get pretty ugly.  Pretty much whatever I think rolls right off my tongue and out of my mouth.   As you may imagine, over the years my words and actions have caused a great deal of pain to a great many people.  Many Most people who are not required to be around me, because they are related to me, determined long ago that I’m just not worth the effort.  Who can blame them?!  I mean I certainly don’t go places where I know there is a high degree of likelihood that I will be made fun of or otherwise ridiculed.  Survival is key.

I have already figured out that I need to “lengthen my fuse.”   If I can just keep my mouth shut, even for  a few seconds, before I react then I can respond.  A response is much healthier than a reaction. 

You know, in spite of all my frailties, faults and inconsistencies, I have for quite some time been able to receive constructive criticism from (some) people and work with it.  Now is the time for me to become more intense and deliberate with these things.  I not only want to become a better husband, father and friend but I need to become the man who God imagined me to be when He thought about creating ME!  It’s not like God needed just another caucasian male on the face of the earth.  There have been billions of men like me over the millennia.

Now is the time for me to rise up and become!  What about you?

TODAY I HAVE (NO) JURY DUTY!

 

I’ve actually been looking forward to jury duty.  It’s only in Small Claims Court but hey, you never know what nice people you will meet.

More later. 

Well it’s later now.  What a HUGE DISSAPPOINTMENT!  I’m on my way down to court this morning and I figure I better give them a call.  Sure enough the recording said, “DO NOT REPORT FOR JURY DUTY.”

I guess somebody got cold feet and figured they would be better off settling before court.

Bummer. 

I don’t understand why people don’t like going to Jury Duty.  Sure I know it’s basically a day (or longer) of not doing your regular daily routine and it may actually cost you a few dollars but so what.   I think we all need to be a bit more civic minded and a little selfish with our time.  After all each and every individual gets the same 24 hours in a single day.  So if when a person slithers out of Jury Duty that just means someone else has to pick up their slack.

There’s enough slack in this country so let’s all embrace our Journey Into Jury Duty Land when time rolls around.

Man I wish they wouldn’t have settled! 

These have been (some) of my experiences.

Much has been debated over the centuries as to the existance of God.  Many who do not believe in God challenge, “Where’s your proof?”  Generally speaking that question is usually followed-up with name calling (both to the one who believes and the One, Whom we believe in).

I don’t have the answers for them.  I do know that I have (personally) had some very unique experiences that anchor my beliefe in the Most High God.  At one time in my life when I caused myself to “hit bottom” I reached out… again to the Comforter.  I did so because I “heard” Him say, “Come to me now or I will not pursue you any longer.”  You see up unto that point in my life I had used God as my Almighty Bail Bondsman.  No not to get out of jail but like, “Oh Lord, if You will just get me out of this mess…” kind of thing.  I know that the Bible says that God will never leave us nor forsake us and at this particular time I felt like God was saying to me, “I won’t pursue you.  It’s all going to be up to you to get yourself through life.  Do you really think you can do it all on your own?”  When I say I “heard” I don’t mean an audible voice but rather a split second conversation of sorts.

So anyway, I was in this dire situation when He came to me in a most dramatic way.  I have no scientific proof and I don’t need scientific proof.   In that moment even the air felt different.  What I do know is that when He and I finished our conversation I was transformed from an angry, frightened and unsure about my future man to a man of immeasurable peace and completely comfortable about what the future held for me.  I can not begin to explain the overwhelming sense of… I don’t know, peace and contentment just doesn’t seem adequate to describe it.  I was changed.  My situation and circumstances had not changed but I had.

That was the moment for me.  The defining moment that anchored my faith.   Of course I have had many challenges since then.  Difficult and painful challenges.  And I have not always answered those challenges the way I should have.  But, I have been able to recognise where I’ve made poor choices and turn from them back to Him.  Before The Encounter I may or may not have recognized my failure and if I had would likely have felt a sense of “Ha, got away with that one.”

Another spiritual marker in my life was when my father died.  That was such a dark, depressing time and also a  time of great questioning. I wrote about my deliverance from that here:

http://mssc54.wordpress.com/2008/08/26/my-angel-story/

I have personally witnessed a man’s leg grow two inches.  I have personally seen a little girl with a three inch platform shoe on one foot throw that shoe away when her leg miraculously measured to the length of the other.  I have (time and time again) received financial blessings that could not be explained or planned for.  I have sustained traumatic injuries and healed from them far beyond all the doctors expectations.  My life has been transformed and by my life’s transformation my family has not only been made whole but flourished.

I know there will be those who can take each of these instances in my life and explain them away with some sort of scientific explanation or possibly psychological disorder.  How sad for them. 

All I know is that God is real in my life.

Stop The Blame and Take Responsibility!

Some times I look back on my life and try to evaluate the times where I felt like my world was falling apart.  What happened?  What role did I play?  What responsibility did I have?  What can I learn from that?  How should I respond in the future?    Wouldn’t it be great if I could learn (the first time) from where/when I make a poor choice?

As I have been (intentionally) reviewing one specific event in my life (see previous Blog post)   I have had somewhat of an epiphany.  For over three decades I have allowed this event to shadow me.  I have been looking at how wounded, hurt and traumatized I have been.  Poor, poor me.  I hadn’t for a single second considered how my actions affected everyone else around me.  I have carried anger, resentment and even shame with me for so long that it had become a “right.”  After all I was a mere child.  Bologna!  I knew right from wrong.  I knew that I was challenging the authority over me.  But I wanted to do what I wanted to do.  I wanted to act up and make jokes.  It was all about me!!

Well guess what Buck-O.  It wasn’t about just me!  It was about the coaches and the other players too!   It should have been about honoring the authority set over me and complying with their wishes and directives  the first time I was corrected.  But noooooooo, I had to push it (as usual).  My coach held me accountable for my actions.  That’s it.  Nothing more, nothing less.

I can finally look back on the events of that fateful night and see that I was not the only one affected by my actions.  I can now recognise that coach tried to allow me back on the team by letting the entire team vote me on or off.  But I was such a jerk most of the time that not even the other players wanted me around!  I can’t imagine how coach felt when he realized that, in spite of his efforts to reinstate me, it was a done deal.  I’m sure he would have never guessed that the vote would have been so lopsided.

Rarely does life allow us any do-overs.  If I could I would certainly make better choices.  Not only with regards to this event but through most of my adolescence.  My mouth has always been my biggest challenge.  Still is, if you want to know the truth.

I’m sorry coach for not allowing you to do your job without my disruption.  You were a good coach and I did learn a lot from you.  And to my former team mates, I’m sorry that I was such a jerk to be around.  I wish I had been a better player and  I certainly wish I had been a better friend.

And no I’m not beating myself up.  I’m just reviewing the facts of my life and trying to recognise (once again) where it is that I have responsibility!